You are here

I Love My Life

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:05pm

I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE my life. Last week I realized that I didn't love DH. I was trying to work on the marriage because I felt guilty for getting a divorce. I married him for the idea of him (getting married, having kids, ect.). I am so glad I was smart enough to leave my situation. My life is stress free and great. Im having so much fun. I joined a softball team, have been hanging out with friends, just doing what I want and enjoying life. I have to get the rest of my things out of the house this Sunday (DH said it was ok to do while he's at work), we transferred everything that was in my name to his name, and next week I will be giving him the separation agreement (which we both verbally agreed on). After that I won't have to deal with him at all. I am so happy. I just wanted to give an update.

Comments

PrincessFiona's picture

Submitted by PrincessFiona on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:07pm

Good for you ! It must feel great to make such a huge decision and be at peace with it.

LindaL's picture

Submitted by LindaL on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:09pm

good for you!!, I too felt bad about leting H leave, but I know is for the best, I hope you keep doing great and keep enjoying your life.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:12pm

oh Pantera, that is absolutely awesome news!!! i am very happy for you..

what about the house?? is he refinancing it out of your name??

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:15pm

We verbally agreed on DH refinancing the house and taking my name off. We didn't talk about a time period but I have one in the separation agreement and its pretty generous (we have a year until we can divorce), so I don't think he'll have a problem with it.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:18pm

i just worry about that, b/c a year is a long time and if he defaults your credit is screwed, too...... i would make the time frame less, but be able to extend if necessary.. that way he don't dick around for a year and then try to refi real quiick..

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:34pm

I am sorry to hear that. I hope that it doesn't end up that way with me, but I am also prepared if it does.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:33pm

4 months to refinance (and will extend if he can show proof he's trying) and something about indemnity is going to be in there (I am not responsible since August 1st), it won't totally save me but it will help. It is what it is. That house is majorly upside down so if we have to sell or he defaults, we will both be screwed anyway.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 9:17am

OMG Pantera...that very thing happened to me when I divorced my son's dad. We had a house that I was a co-buyer on and he got the house in the divorce and defaulted on the mortgage and now my crdit is totally screwed. He needs to refi in his name.

Glad you are doing great...peace is a wonderful thing.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 3:33pm

spunki! that sucks.... and just b/c your papers gave him a yr, that has nothing to do with the loan.... i have seen this so many times and just fucks peoples credit up so bad!.. is it possible for you to get a modified loan and take it back?? or have you tried a short sale??

pantera, be sure you have access to monitor the payments and make sure they are paid on time...

happymostly's picture

Submitted by happymostly on Fri, 09/03/2010 - 11:52pm

yay! i knew you would feel better after a while and everything would start to become clearer after you left!

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Sat, 09/04/2010 - 10:24am

Hey Pantera girl!! Sooooo glad to hear from you! Thanks for coming back to ST for an update - I, for one, have been wondering how everything has been - your first month in your new apartment "flying solo"!!!

Ahhhhh...the sweet sound of SILENCE - peace and serenity. You deserve it - you're a wonderful, caring woman and did everything you could for 4 years to try to have a happily blended family.

I'm so glad that you're doing so well - softball team, friends, etc.... You're finding your "old self" and getting YOUR life back again!!

Cheers to you, Pantera (Milomom holding up cup of coffee)!!!!

Virtual hugs - you are truly an inspiration to all of us. Thank you, thank you for letting us know how you're doing.

((((PANTERA)))))

cyberwoman's picture

Submitted by cyberwoman on Sun, 09/05/2010 - 1:00am

Good for you it is very inspirational. I am contemplating the same but with so much involved - property, business etc- it is a scary thing. It is encouraging though to know there is light at the end of the tunnel even if you have to make decisions that initially scare the heck out of you. Thank you for sharing.