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BM making me insecure

WWSMD's picture

Maybe its BM or maybe I'm playing into my own insecurities. The other day I drove DH to BM's house to get my purse back and after threating to press charges she handed over the purse. The whole time she was calling me names and she asked DH what he saw in me. DH told her I am beautiful in ways she never was. Driving away I hear her yell that I am boney and disgusting to look at.

I have always had an issue with my weight. I have no curves no tushy and barely any breast. I try hard to gain weight but I cant. I thought about what she said and I secretly wonder how I can be sexy with my husband if I have nothing going on that is special with my body. I don't want to look like a skeleton with long hair prancing around in panties I want to look hot in the eyes of my DH.

Comments

Just J's picture

This makes me sad! Of course you look sexy to your DH! There is no set figure that turns men on, they all like different things. Some guys like big butts, others like long legs and others like big breasts. Some guys dont like any of that. Obviously your DH finds your body type attractive or he wouldn't be with you. Don't let the idiot BM make you feel otherwise, she is just jealous that she couldn't hold on to your man and you can.

Anon2009's picture

Wait a minute...what was your purse doing at BM's house? ETA: sorry, just read your last blog.

I'd just eliminate her from your life altogether. That's what I've done. It's worked wonders. I offered to meet and speak with bm when I was new to this gig. The interest in knowing each other wasn't mutual. So, I eliminated her from my life altogether. I don't go to exchanges. I don't communicate with her at all, and it feels GREAT! Part of what makes it so great I'd that by cutting her out of my life, I'm not giving her the satisfaction of knowing she got to me.

We and all the other people who truly know you know you're a wonderful person regardless of your size. All the people who truly know bm know she's a troubled person who gets a high off of being mean to others regardless of her size. She could be Barbie and people will tire of her because she's so mean.

WWSMD's picture

SD9 took my purse without my permission and gave it to BM who claimed she purchased it. I wish I could cut her out of my life but I have to be at exchanges because DH has arthritis in his hand and I help him drive around when it flares up.

oldone's picture

How absolutely ridiculous on her part.

I'd have been tempted to say:

"I'm glad you do not have the hots for my body but my husband sure enjoys it."

I've been a little too curvy at times and when I was younger thought that might be a turnoff. My mother was ultra thin and like you could not gain weight. Best thing she taught me was that our body shapes do not define us.

3familiesIn1's picture

Ah my dear, BM is jealous, and you are everything she is NOT and can NEVER be. She called out the things in you that make her the most jealous.

I too am insecure of BM, her and DH came from another country, and speak another language which I do not speak and can only understand a little of. So, they always converse in their mother-tongue, and DH has made comments off and on about how I need to learn so we can communicate etc etc, he has bought me software and is clearly disappointed that I haven't learned.

I took his mother-tongue in school a few years when I was in high school, I hear him speak to his kids and can pickup this and that, but I am partially avoiding learning because he is pressuring me (I know stubborn) and I will never be fluent like BM anyway so I don't want to fail - can't fail if you don't try right?

My point is, your DH loves you for you, he divorced BM for BM - and sometimes we need to remember that. If he wanted to be with BM he would be and he doesn't - you are beautiful, BM is jealous plain and simple - you have what she never will, DH

Tuff Noogies's picture

aw that's beautiful echo.

u made me teary-eyed! i think we could all use a loving reminder - thanks again Wink

BSgoinon's picture

Awe, I can have sympathy for you on this one. I am very thin and have tried my entire life to gain weight. No curves, no boobs. I finally gained some weight and it all went to my butt. Now I look like a snake that ate a rabbit that hasn't been digested.

She is going to hit you where it hurts. That's what people that are jealous do. Honey, if saying you are THIN is all she has on you, I'd say you are doin' just fine. Obviously your weight doesn't bother your DH, so don't let it bother you. She is ugly on the inside.

Take your husbands compliment and remember it ALWAYS.

Screw her and her ugly personality.

Tuff Noogies's picture

LMFAO!!!!!!!!! i totally hear ya on this one BS! "like a snake that ate a rabbit that hasn't been digested".

why oh why cant we just shift it around to where we'd like it....

QueenBeau's picture

Just ignore BM.

I had the same issues (when I was younger. When I started BC I gained a lil weight & started to 'fill out' per se). I just had to learn to love myself for who I am! There are women who go through hell and high water trying to get thin, & then thin women who hate being thin. You are beautiful. All women are. Being thin doesn't mean you're not sexy. It just means your thin. Obviously your DH loves you and your body.

BM is probably fat & jealous. Lol

just.his.wife's picture

Men are weird. What fires up one guys engine will leave another guy cold.

Honestly, believe what your DH's eyes/expression tells you when he is looking at you.

Never believe an XW who is a jealous battle axe.

chokinonlemons2u's picture

Curves one day sag.

Skin wrinkles.

Hair greys

BEAUTY FADES

( unless your Rachel Welsh but Im convinced she is an alien at this point anyway)

Stupid bitch last a lifetime.

Your husband chose YOU over someone with a chronic case of Bitchitiss.

3familiesIn1's picture

THIS:

Stupid bitch lasts a lifetime.

I almost spit my coffee out - that is EXACTLY it.

Ever see those t-shirts... I may be fat but you are stupid and I can always lose weight?? You should get one made up...

I may be thin but you are a stupid and I can always eat cake!!! LMAO

New second wife-step-mom's picture

I may be thin but you are a stupid and I can always eat cake!!! LMAO

^^^ Love it!

New second wife-step-mom's picture

Don't pay any attention to her she is just jealous. If your DH didn't find you sexy he probably wouldn't have married you. Men are visual creatures and that is what turns them on.

My suggestion is to find the "perfect" bra! A little padding and push up goes a long way!!! Wink Buy a size up, in the "add a size- push up".

You can find these at Victoria's Secret, Penneys, or even Wal-Mart. (Alot of women and girls wear these now days, my neices love them).

It will make buying blouses and dresses so much easier and will give you the extra confidence you need. I am sure your DH won't mind and he might even like you prancing around in your new bra and panties.

Don't go to BM's house for a few weeks and than show up with your new found confidence!!! Or gradually build up your bust size.

BTW, I was thin too once upon a time... Smile

misSTEP's picture

Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Great personalities come in all shapes and sizes. Self-confidence is the sexiest thing ever. Don't let a stupid bitch bring you down.