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i think this is creepy!!

tugofwar's picture

Ok, are I and DH the only ones who find this kinda creepy.... BM's man proposed to her (yay!! Maybe she will chill a little once she marries this guy) but... When he proposed to BM he also got on one knee and proposed to SD14 and asked her to be "his daughter" wtf?! SD accepted. Not only did he propose to SD and put a ring on her finger it was a ring that DH gave to BM some 10 years ago for a wedding anniversary. Now that this has happened DH told BM that it was totally inappropriate to ask SD to be BM's mans daughter. Now, SD is telling DH "did u expect me to accept SM freely?" ( I guess I need to buy her love and acceptance) So does that mean that SD expects me to go buy her something "special" and shower her with gifts to accept me as her SM?! Ummmmm I DON'T THINK SO!! I told DH that I WILL NOT go buy her a ring or anything along that line to get her to accept me!! Opinions ladies... Am I the only one who thinks this was a little odd????

Comments

andy_pandy's picture

As the BM I find this a little odd. That said it's part of the reccomendations that you get on some parenting websites. My BS was there when DP proposed, but BS didn't get a proposal all of his own, he was just there.

onehappygirl's picture

I think it was a nice gesture to include her in the family that they are blending together. I think the SD's reaction and what she said was inappropriate. She's a 14-year-old idiot - that's the only excuse I have for her now - her age. We all did and said really, really stupid things when we were that age. I'm not excusing it, I'm just saying. Maybe your DH should question her what she meant by that statement, instead of automatically assuming she meant the worst thing. (Hon, I'm saying this as an outsider to the situation, I probably would have thought the same thing that you did had that situation happened to me).

When Truelight and I got married, we each said vows to each other's kids that we are there for them and that they are now sons and daughters to us. I don't really see anything different in what this soon to be stepdad did. It might have seemed a little different and unsual, but I think it was done with good intentions.
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oneoffour's picture

Well, it was nice he asked to be her 'father' although 'stepfather' would be more appropriate.

HOWEVER, giving a 2nd hand ring that was par of her father and mother's life and passing it off as his wonderful idea is cheap and tacky. a locket or another piece of jewellery would be more appropriate.

If your SD makes the same comment again my retort would be... Well honey, let me find a piece of jewellery your mother gave to your father and you can have that. OK?

tugofwar's picture

Thank you!! I think it is weird weird weird. I will definitely use the comment let me find something your mom gave your dad and you can have it Smile I do worry about BM's future H, I have heard from SD numerous times that she has heard BM and future H having loud sex, and BM is not one bit cautious the things she tells future H in front of SD like "just wait till I get home your gonna get a blow job" SD has told me that she believes a blow job shows a boyfriend how much you love them cause that's how her mother shows her man, (fyi SD at age 13 was caught giving a 17 year old boy oral sex, when asked why, "cause I want him to know I love him") they seem to be very open about sex in their home. BM has shared the fact that she has vibrators and SD has taken friends into BM room to show them since she keeps them under the mattress. (If adults want to have sex and have toys awesome.... But the kids DO NOT need to know about these things, ADULTS ONLY!!)

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