The coddling drives me mad as well!  There was the whole debacle last fall with YSDthen16 and DH having mental gymnastics with her walking 5 minutes to the bus stop and waiting there for the bus. Manufactured incompetence.

DH has lately been better at planning things even if YSD might be at our home. I have told him several times I don't want to plan around YSD because we cannot. She gives no notice whether she'll be over or not, usually it's silence until the day before or the night before. I am not waiting. Last night he had heard nothing from her (haven't seen her for like 2 months now) and he was ok with meeting me in town for some social fun tonight anyway - and would do so even if she was coming.

I hope your DH goes with you, it's important to do so.

Progress.

I too rode my bike to work/school or took the bus at 15-16 in a not so small town. My DH couldn't let precious YSS (36 at the time) walk a 10-15 minute walk to our house most of 2022 when he would park his work truck at a gas station in order to visit us. It was to cold or to hot. Eye roll. He also was on call prior to this for many years when YSS would ride the Amtrak or bus into town to visit and always had a pickup anywhere from 10 pm to 3 am. I finally told DH "Why can't he just Uber here?" My own son was 16 and regularly caught Uber when I didn't want to get him after 10 pm. I think it's ok for a one off to go get her, if you didn't already have plans but I think you're smart setting that boundary now. 

I hate it when they go into dad guilt/coddling mode

This dude does that too

He literally tried to have me driving into the hood (where his ex chose to enroll their kids) everyday at 3pm to pick up their kids because both of them worked and I was self-employed with a flexible schedule. 

First I had to make up excuses, dodge his calls, then I flat out told him NO!!! I'm not driving my luxury vehicle into the hood. It was not my choice to enroll them there (I would have sent them to a school with bus pickup), they are close enough to WALK (but I guess he's too scared for his son to walk through the hood - again not my problem, that's what your ex chose), and I thought he/his ex should meet some parents and carpool. He came up with unlimited excuses then stormed off and figured out his own solution to the problems him and his exwife created. 

Hare dare these people make all these choices for their kids that they cannot fulfill, then expect me to be the savior/do all the work uncompensated.

Now if it's a safe neighborhood then she can use her scooter. If your husband wants to coddle then he can adjust HIS work schedule and walk with her/transport her.

YEP. Husband and Toxic Troll both have coddled and enabled both skids to point of disablement.

Very frustrating and husband expected me to do it also. Im done.

So it's ok for adults to aim for 10,000 steps a day but not SD.  

Tell him that he will be at the adult event with you as previously planned. PERIOD DOT!!!

About DH screwing up fun Adult time.   He has fun adult time with BM before the kids.  He needs  to be working on his relationship with you.  Picking up SD.  Not a big.  That seams to be what goes on today.  People drive to see people three houses away  

Mess formation on a courtyard in the winter or summer when they were either freezing for cooking.

Before Military school, If we missed the bus, we walked, or more accurately ran, and we had better not be late for school, or for dinner after school

Adults have no business being catered to by their parents.  Some of these failed SKidults would be waiting... for ever... if they expected a ride from me. They can hike their happy asses or... not come to my home.  A specific situation, no problem with a ride.  Entitled laziness, they had better have learned to hike.

smh

I don't know the layout of her walk home, so I can't say how safe it is. Some areas truly are safer than others. Assuming there's any chance it's not safe, if SD doesn't have a reliable way to get to and from work, voluntelling OP to do it is sh!tty. SD has 2 parents and a brother. Other solutions include 1) SD gets a job with hours where one of those 3 people or someone else is her designated ride. 2) SD only works shifts where someone else can bring her. 3) SD doesn't have a job. When parents try to guilt stepparents into doing things they don't want to do, it creates resentment and they wonder why the SP resents the child. OP isn't an extension of her husband that he can make use of whenever he wants. 

The weekend of Fathers Day, SD17 Powersulk was with us, and wanted to go to the mall which is 1.4 miles one way, about 30 mins walking distance. So...I dropped her off because I was doing some running around, and she went about her business. She was meeting her friend and they were going to shop and work out.

Then when I was done running around but neaqr to the mall, I called her and told her I could give her a ride. She said no Im waiting with my friend for the bus that she is taking. Then, after her friend tok her bus, to a town over 30 miles away, she called HUSBAND-DADDY CAKES to pick her up and bring her home. Shes gotten pretty professional level at wrapping him and mom around her little fingers, and he asked me because he had a few drinks. So, I rebelled and told him "tell her to walk its 30 mins or less, she had her chance with me already..." So he did, and then I felt bad and softened up, and went to get her, as she was half way home and her legs were cramping up from her work out because she NEVER does anything...

So, never again...!