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Soon to be husband won't let his son grow up

Tina's picture

I am getting married soon to a wonderful man (I’ll call Bill). The problem is his 19 year old son. This is both of our third marriages and I feel mainly out of guilt, he expects nothing of his son. He left his son’s mother for another women after 13 years. His son (I’ll call Rob) lived with his mother until he was 13 (she decided to move away) and he has never told Rob no to anything. He does not do chores unless he’s paid for it, he does not work unless he wants too, and before we got a place of our own and moved together, he let Rob have girls over (different one every night) and said nothing when he came home and Rob was in his room or downstairs having sex. I have two sons (teenager and one in his 20ties) and they knew that my home was not going to be used as a hotel. Rob has gone away to college, but he still does not work, and his Bill sends him money every month. Bill sends the money directly to Rob and he doesn’t care what he spends the money on. Bill’s second wife died in a car accident and Bill was left quite a lot of insurance money, which he blew. He bought Rob a new car, and like I said, has never told Rob no on anything. I thing Rob is a spoiled brat and has no respect for Bill. He only thinks of himself and Bill says nothing. Christmas came and went and Rob did not buy his father anything, yet he wants his father to buy him a plane ticket for his mothers wedding next summer. I truly adore Bill, but I am starting to resent Rob. When Rob comes home from college, he never offers to help around the house. He comes and goes as he pleases, comes home when he wants, and basically plays. It is driving me crazy!! Me a Bill have talked numerous times, but Bill sees nothing wrong with Rob and does nothing. Bill asked he a couple of days ago if Rob’s girlfriend could come and stay at our house for the New Year. At first I said no way, but Bill told Rob there would be no sex and he agreed. Yea right!!! If Rob was more respectful and responsible, we would probably get along. I need help!!