A little background-I apologize if this is choppy, and long, I'm pissed and need to get as much out as I can.

Our BM feels next to NO responsibility for doing what is best FOR THE SKIDS. She and DH were married for ~maybe~ 3 years or so, until she decided to cheat on him with at least 3 guys, usually TAKING THE KIDS WITH HER WHILE DH WAS WORKING AT NIGHT. DH has had the SAME job, with the SAME hours, for the last 4.5 years. BM hops from job to job every couple months (she's had at least 4 in the nearly 2 years DH and I have been together- Walmart, McDonald's, a local gas station, and the current job).
Her past 3 jobs have been 1st shift jobs, eg. 6am-2pm, 7am-3pm. About September, KNOWING DH's work schedule (3pm-11pm M-Th, Sat EARLY am to about 3 or 4pm. Hasn't changed in almost 5 years) she quit her gas station job "because her boss was mean." Yup, telling you to do your job is mean. Given the schedules each parent had, BM would pick them up from school M-Th, keep them until DH got off work and picked them up. DH would put them to bed, get them up, fed, and to school. He'd pick them up from school Fridays. Deal was SUPPOSED to be EOWE (of COURSE no CO... Grr, but things worked for a while), until she decided that EOWE wasn't enough partying for her, and DH took the kids EVERY weekend just to shut her up.
So now, WE have the skids EVERY weekend, EVERY school break, EVERY day the kids are sick, and EVERY day DH doesn't have to work.
Anyway. BM quit her gas station job without finding a new one first, so of course "don't have time to find one that has 1st shift hours" "I have bills to pay"-She's got foodstamps, and is(was) in income-based housing. She then found a job that pays $1200/month. YAY...not. She works 11am-7pm. She gets home around 8pm.
So now the skids have NO consistency. SS7 is autistic, so consistency is even more important than to a "normal" child, which is still pretty important. They never know who will pick them up from school M-Th. They don't know where they'll spend the evening. 2 of BM's friends agreed to pick up/take care of the skids after school, but they weren't consistent on who got them which day. Then, lo and behold, BM friend #1 gets evicted from her trailer. BM friend #2 gets her kids taken away by CPS. Now, BM's sister or current boyfriend (of 2 months) gets and watches the skids.
DH was off work for most of the month of December, between leave for knee surgery, and holiday observance.
BM took the kids for 5 days the entire month. One of those days she stayed home sick from work, kept the kids, then brought them to us the next morning when she went to work... She got them sick (go figure) and they stayed home from school.
Now, to the point of all this.
BM insists on keeping the skids over night M-Th so she LOOKS like she spends time with them, and overnights are what matter to the courts (at least it's in the divorce decree that DH is CP, he can take her for CS any time he wants, and she can NEVER ask for it). In reality, she sees the skids from about 8pm when she gets home to about 9pm when they go to bed, and then about 7-8 when she gets them up and ready for school (she doesn't even do this on time consistently.) DH picks them up from her and takes them to school, so at least they see him every day. So as far as actually SPENDING TIME with the skids, she sees them about 8hrs per week that they're actually awake.
Given the amount of time DH and I had the skids this month, we asked BM to take the kids for a weekend this month, so DH and I could have some adult time, go out to dinner, etc.
She says, "BUT YOU NEVER SEE YOUR KIDS, YOU DON'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH THE KIDS"
EXCUSE ME!!? WHO HAD THEM ALL FUCKING MONTH WHILE YOU DIDN'T EVEN CHECK TO SEE HOW THEY WERE DOING? WHO HAS THEM EVERY WEEKEND?!! WHO ACTUALLY TAKES THEM TO DO THINGS, TO THE PARK, THE POOL? WE DO!!
Don't you dare try to pull that card BM. Don't you dare. DH and I are taking note of all the things you don't do with the kids, don't get for the kids, when you leave them with us instead of taking them like you said you would so you can go to the strip club. Oh, and by the way, if you can't afford sheets for your son's bed, or shoes for the skids, or school fees, gas for your car, or keeping up with your rent and the ONLY utility you have to pay in the apt, how the HELL are you going to afford the $1200/month place you're renting with your current boyfriend and your sister? How will you pay ALL the utilities? What happens when you break up with this BF, or can't afford to pay what you need? What will moving AGAIN do to the skids? Will you stop going out drinking, or just get evicted? But, if you keep refusing to do what's right by the kids, we'll keep them more often and just smack you with CS. Try thinking more of the kids and their needs, not just whatever the hell YOU want.
May sound harsh/judgmental, but I am so done with that woman right now