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some questions for birthmothers from stepmothers

teresalove's picture

Why do so many of you always say "they are not your kids and not your business" but yet you expect stepmoms to babysit your kids for free while your children's father works. You expect to get increases in child support because the stepmoms income goes up. You expect for the stepmom to save extra money out of her paycheck so that she can pay to take your kids on their family vacation with the kids that her and your ex have together (dad can't save any money he is broke after paying child support) You want your kids to come over every weekend when you know that the stepmom is going to be the one cooking cleaning and taking care of your children while they are at your ex's and the stepmom's house, because lets be honest most men don't pay attention to little Johnny or Suzie sitting to close to the TV or eating candy for breakfast, you know all these things, but yet you still have the nerve to tell stepmoms "they are not your kids, so shut up, but be my free babysitter and get a raise so that I can get more money for child support off the stepmoms increase in pay" (community property states, household income) So why do you act like this?

Comments

starfish's picture

why did you post the same on a forum and blog??

not all, but it sounds like your bm and my bm are both fat fucking loser, douche bag, greedy, gov't hand out, needy, self righteous, opportunist, trailer trash cunts!

but i could be wrong.....about your bm.

starfish's picture

jenw, it's ok that "He conventiently forgot that we had been married at one time.", it's not ok what he has done to dd. at least you're getting cs.

op was mad at bm's who expect sm's to pick up the slack and treat skids like royalty, but still get shit on by bm.

tigerlilly00's picture

Wow, there are some really passionate comments on this one. I kind of have a similar issue. BM doesnt like me and thinks I am satan. I have some great letters from her to me that I should post sometime. I feel like I am the BM when kids are here. I do everything and DH chooses not to participate most of the time. His kids get away with hell and of course I am always the bad one. BM doesnt want me interfering and I just dont get that either since I am the one playing mommy when I have them...yes, thats what I said...when "I" have them. Thats how I feel most of the time.

teresalove's picture

I did not delete your comment. This is my first time posting on this site so I'm still figuring the site out. Thanks for your reply.

caregiver1127's picture

Spunki - She did not delete your comment dear - she posted this as a blog and a forum question so you probably are on the other one!!!

stepsonhatesme's picture

I guess I have it easy on that part. My XH walked out of my kids' lives well over 8 yrs ago. (even though 5 yrs before that it was sporatic on visitation and almost obsolete on CS).
But I would never EVER ask let alone TRUST any of the women he has ever been with, to watch my kids. when he did see them he was married and his Soon to be XW was VERY abusive to them.(mainly verbal but some physical) yes i did take care of that issue with her and HIM

But our BM is constantly asking (aka demanding) that I watch SS while she is at work even though she knows full well DH is at work.
(p.s. im putting a stop to that one)

teresalove's picture

I wonder what they would do if we weren't married to them so many of them seem to think that since we marry their children's father that is our obligation to watch them. Since they feel that way they should let me claim them on my taxes.

stepsonhatesme's picture

I guess I have it easy on that part. My XH walked out of my kids' lives well over 8 yrs ago. (even though 5 yrs before that it was sporatic on visitation and almost obsolete on CS).
But I would never EVER ask let alone TRUST any of the women he has ever been with, to watch my kids. when he did see them he was married and his Soon to be XW was VERY abusive to them.(mainly verbal but some physical) yes i did take care of that issue with her and HIM

But our BM is constantly asking (aka demanding) that I watch SS while she is at work even though she knows full well DH is at work.
(p.s. im putting a stop to that one)

stepmasochist's picture

You should clone yourself and sell them to us to replace our BMs with. We'll need different varieties so they'll match the appearance of our BMs.

I'll take one in fat, white trash, crack ravaged blond.

Whateva's picture

I love it Fabs and that is the way it should be!!! I might have to cut and paste this and reference it in the near future...LOL

skylarksms's picture

I think that you should have posted this over at iVillage. The BMs on here tend to be "normal."

1. I have NEVER expected SM (or even BF) to babysit. I have never even MET SM and would not allow anyone I'd never met to babysit my kid. Of course my "kid" is now 20 and would look at me like I was crazy if I wanted him babysat.

2. I have NEVER expected ANY of SMs income and, in fact, have never even ASKED for an increase in CS. Hell, I'm happy to be getting ANYTHING from that sorry ass loser that SM married!

3. I have NEVER expected SM to save ANY of her own income for my child. I have NEVER expected SM/BF to take DS on vacation with them. What I DID expect was BF to at least send a b-day card to DS AT LEAST ONCE in his life!

4. My DS has NEVER been to his BF/SM's house so I highly doubt if the SM has done ANYTHING....EVER for my DS.

5. I DO NOT and I NEVER HAVE "acted like this."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

However, I have a BM who expects those types of things too. But just because someone is a BM, doesn't mean you can lump the "crazies" in with the "normies."

somerg's picture

Why do so many of you always say "they are not your kids and not your business" but yet you expect stepmoms to babysit your kids for free while your children's father works. answer: i would rather keep my dd myself
You expect to get increases in child support because the stepmoms income goes up. answer: she is not their child, she is NOT financially responsible for them either

You expect for the stepmom to save extra money out of her paycheck so that she can pay to take your kids on their family vacation with the kids that her and your ex have together (dad can't save any money he is broke after paying child support) answer: she never goes with them on family vacations, so this is not an issue for me
You want your kids to come over every weekend when you know that the stepmom is going to be the one cooking cleaning and taking care of your children while they are at your ex's and the stepmom's house, because lets be honest most men don't pay attention to little Johnny or Suzie sitting to close to the TV or eating candy for breakfast, you know all these things, but yet you still have the nerve to tell stepmoms "they are not your kids, so shut up, but be my free babysitter and get a raise so that I can get more money for child support off the stepmoms increase in pay" (community property states, household income) Answer: I would rather have my dd when her dad is at work instead of staying with smom this has been A HUGE ordeal and i'm fixing to take him to court for right of first refusal

So why do you act like this? because she is unstable and is only there when SHE WANTS TO BE....read my current posting or message me if you want clarification