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Can't control a Teenager....Any ideas on how to get them active?

tcj24's picture

Hi all,

This is my first entry.  I'm glad there is a place to vent. I'm starting individual counseling and my fiancee and I are starting family counseling next month.  

His son is 15, and had a blood clot in August, a month after his birthday.  It was caused due to his inactivity ( he will stay in bed for 22 hours a day on the weekends).  The clot has not dissolved, surgery may now be neccessary to remove it.  He is 94 pounds over weight, and morbidly obese according to the doctors.

One of our daily expectations is a 20/30 minute activity break.  I aksed him and my other son to walk the dogs today.  I told them to go around the block.  They are back 10 minutes later.  I told them to go back out.  My step son is doubled over, hands on knees, sweating, complaining of a possible migrane.  His father tells him to take his blood thinner shot.  He does, then lays down.  He's been there since.  

So, there goes the 20 minutes of activity suggested by the doctors.  I feel like I have no control to help the situation.  I cannot make him walk.  I cannot make him get up and move.  But, the fact that he could have actually died due to his inactivity, has NO effect on him.  

We are going to try to get him a personal trainer, and hope that will motivate him to lose the weight, eat healthy, and get active.  

Any suggestions, sites, or videos you've seen to help motivate teenagers intrinsicly??  Anything would be greatly  appreciated!!

Comments

notarelative's picture

A 10 minute walk should not leave a person sweating. If he has been cleared by the doctors to exercise, maybe some gym sessions with an experienced trainer. Someone with experience working with overweight adolescents. An hour session should get him 20 minutes of activity.

Maybe some therapy to work on his underlying issues.

His weight didn't appear overnight. His lack of activity is not new. It will take time to reverse.

tog redux's picture

Wow - I've heard of inactive teens, but this takes the cake. What is he doing in bed for 22 hours a day?

Where is his mother in all of this? Honestly, he sounds like he needs some sort of inpatient care or residential care, if his parents can't motivate him. Is he depressed?

TX2step's picture

I suggest a visit to a hospital bariatric unit. He is young enough to make changes to avoid these types of health issues. Follow up with a gym membership and rewards for achieving goals.  IMO

Jcksjj's picture

I would guess there must be something going on emotionally/mental healthwise if he cares that little about himself and his physical health. Or maybe he feels defeated or incapable, idk. Probably that needs to be addressed  first because I dont think you can make him do anything if he doesnt want to do it for himself. Can you get him into counseling also?

The only other suggestion I would have is that if 10 min is the max he can do, maybe let him break up the 20 to 30 minutes into 2 or 3 chunks of 10 to start with.

BethAnne's picture

^^all the way this. I would be encouraging his dad to get him second opinions on his physical health and all the mental health evaluations I could to try to get to the root of his issues and help him. He doesn’t seem to be faking his fatigue. Just because walking around the block twice seems easy to the op doesn’t mean it is the right place to start for her ss or that he is lazy when he struggles with it. 

Lizzylemon's picture

This is his parents responsibility to do something about this horridly lazy child. You should focus on your husband and son only. IMO this child should be kicked out promptly at 18 since it sounds like he will never launch on his own. A cheap 3 month gym membership is a great Christmas present though. Also, if mental health therapy is covered under his health plan with a cheap copay that would be acceptable as well. I’m not into spending exorbitant amounts of ongoing money on the skids who will ultimately fail at life. I use my resources for my family only, not the ungrateful, useless skids. 

BethAnne's picture

If the potential of dying didn’t scare him then it seems like he is deeply depressed or feels overwhelmed with hopelessness. All issues he needs professional support and possibly medication to work through. 

tcj24's picture

Thank you all very much!! I feel so much better after reading all of your ideas and suggestions.  Counseling is definitely in the plans for him too.  I think that's and a gym membership will hopefully go a long way. 

I've been making healthy meals all weekend, with him in mind.  He wasn't hungry at any meal.  Realized while cleaning kitchen he ate a half box of cereal, half box of Cheez-Its, and half package of cookies while no one was in the kitchen (middle of night??)

But, I cannot make him do anything or not do anything.  Keeping it out of the house is the first step, which isn't really fair to the rest of us who do have portion control, but I guess that's the only way to keep him from eating it.  Thank you all again!!

justmakingthebest's picture

When you are looking at gyms look for a water track. My sister and her husband's gym has one and they have lost a bunch of weight doing that. basiclly the water is being pushed against you for resistance but because you are in water it is easy on your joints. For someone majorly overweight the joint pain becomes serious. If you go as a family and walk it together it might give him the encouragement he needs.

Other than that, I second the bariatric consultation.