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Pros and cons

Stinacard's picture

The everlasting battle of weighing pros and cons. I've loved my fiancé since the moment we met . He's a father, I'm a mother, we've both been abandoned by the people we trusted, we both love our kids and want them to thrive in the midst of divorce. His kids get along with mine, we had the perfect life for awhile. As perfect as it can be , with his ex dragging their divorce on for years, trying to turn his kids against me, us trying to support two households while she continues to insist that she should not be forced to work (even though she is the one that kicked him out and had an affair).
Yes, it was amazing, for a stretch. Maybe it's just starting to sink in for his 6yo, but lately he is a beast that can not be tamed. I've never seen anything of the likes of him. All of the above 'cons' never mattered before, but with his behavior causing me to burst into tears by the end of each weekend, those cons hold a heavy weight, and he sits on top of the mountain of burden. The pros, the things that really matter, only make themselves known Monday through Friday afternoon.
I'm constantly going from loving wife mode to manic depressant bitch, depending if his kids are over, and it's just so hard. I tell my fiancé my worries, and he loves me even when I am burying my face sobbing about how much his son wears on me, but it never gets easier, only harder.
This man is my soulmate. He is the best father my son could ask for , and I am thankful for my life. So where do I find balance?
Is this normal?
How do I fix it?
Am I expecting too much from his son? All I really want is for him to treat me like he would any adult , his sister even says he only acts this way for me. But the burden I carry, that I can't stand this child, is so consuming I just can't think of anything else while in his company.

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Stinacard's picture

I'm just nervous that my fiancé will feel like I'm dividing their family.. And he's great at keeping peace, but sometimes I care less about peace and more about punishment. But what if his son then refuses to come over? I'm so torn on how to handle this ( or how to make hubby handle it... Am I allowed to punish SS or is it not my responsibility?)