SD was home from college for 30 days. We saw her 6 of them. She packed up all her nice goodies she got for C-Mas on about the 27th and we never saw her again.

She insulted an entire room of relatives when she made comments about how much better her private college is. Most everyone else in the room went to or is currently going to the very reputable local university. "Bs & Cs at her school are like As at our school"

We've yet to see her grades. Obviously they are bad. 30 days after finals and she still claims to not have them.

She missed all of her siblings' ballgames. The older one doesn't care, but the little one (7) does. And I care because I've made sure my little one was there for all her things even when we didn't feel like it. She is very upset.

On Cmas morning SS & SD had presents for their dad and little sister, but nothing for me. It's not that I want them to spend a dime on me. It's the thought. I've been around for almost 15 years now. They never call me on my b-day either. AND, hubby doesn't incourage proper behavior when they don't do the right things.

SD decided to spend her last week of break with a friend out of town. She missed her little sister's b-day and the party. She didn't bother to try to see us leading up to that to make up for it or anything.

Also, BM had surgery shortly after the 1st of the year. Fairly major surgery. The kind that keeps you from driving for 6 weeks. SD should have been there for her that last week of break, but noooo, she has far more important things to do.

AT LEAST it wasn't just us she was treating improperly. I never would have thought she'd do her mom that way. I'm so disappointed in her I can't even put it in words.

Her distance and exclusion of us has been going on for a few years. We keep holding on thinking being away and maturing (doesn't seem to be happening) will make her come around. Not at all. She's gotten worse.

Here's my thing. It's not that I don't love her to death. I do. I just HATE how she behaves and I don't think it should go without repurcussions.

I'm practically estranged from her because of the way she treats us. I know she doesn't want me around, so I make a point not to be around much. Too much time leads to badness.

What should I do? I've contemplated telling her that her behavior is completely unacceptable and that until she includes us, considers us and gives back to us, that I'm accepting her exclusion of us because that seems to be what she wants the most. Then, giving her what she wants which is me out of her life. And after the way she's not been there for her little sister, that effectively would also mean not having much contact with her either.

How do I give her the repurcussions that she deserves, the distance that she wants and also let her know that we are waiting with our arms open if and whenever she wants to really be a part of this family.

At this point, she is draining our family and never giving a damn thing back.

Like Dr. Phil says, I believe you teach people how to treat you. I do not want her to ever think that the way she has been treating us (and it is worsening) is at all acceptable.

Thing is, DH has had several convos with her over the years regarding her excluding us, but without repurcussions. She's better for a month and then it goes back to bare minimum.

I truly believe that she does the bare minimum only because we are her only source of $$.