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At what age would you allow a child to have a FB Account?

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Im quite interested to hear everyones views on this. At what age do you think its appropriate to allow your child/skid to have their own Facebook, Myspace, etc accounts?

BM let SS11 get his own FB account today, with absolutely no discussion with DH ( as per their CO). Sadly this child is faaaaar from mature enough to have one!!

Case in point- SS11 has been sending me private messages past Midnight!!!!! tonite!!! I asked him twice if he was allowed to be on- he said & I quote "Mom doesnt care as long as I know who I am talking to & dont get in trouble". He said she gave him No rules about it.
Eeeeekkkk!!! This is the same kid who went on the internet less then a year ago & signed up for Match.com & another adult site!!! Yikes!! She Doesnt moniter their online usage at all!! SS13 got his FB account at 12 (against DHs wishes too) & has gotten himself in a ton of trouble online. Its a freakin mess!!

DH is gonna have a cow when I show him the messages SS11 sent me last night plus show him SSs posts on his page that show he was on after midnight as well!!! Lord have Mercy!!

Please give me your thoughts & Opinions on what age you feel is appropriate for kids to obtain their own FB Accounts & other Social Media sites.

I think 15/16 is "ok" on some sites with the Parents having complete access & passwords. Theres creeps out there, I truly worry about all kids safety on the web!!

Thanks!

Comments

Anywho78's picture

The resident SKids will get FB accounts once they turn 13 provided they behave responsibly. If they are irresponsible, it will be a no-go. SO & I have discussed it & we both agree that phones & (in the future) social online media accounts will be monitored until they are 18. Anything less is unsafe.

I have seen my friend's kids announce stuff on FB & their pages aren't restricted or private. It's horribly dangerous yet so many parents don't seem to have a clue. It truly is scarey.

coySM's picture

SD was allowed to get one when she turned 13. I think FB requires users to be 13 years old (not sure). It depends on the kid's maturity too. SD13 is pretty mature for her age. I think DH and BM have her password so they can monitor it.

silentnites's picture

My kids are grown....I sympathize with all of you. Very tough time to raise kids.

I have nieces and nephews on FB and I cannot believe that these kids "put it all out there for everyone to see"..A crazy world.

Jsmom's picture

We reported it to Facebook when BM encouraged it at 11. They did nothing. I think you go by the rules and wait until they are in High School or 13.

LittlePanda's picture

Haha...I was just thinking.."hmmm...I guess 13 would be a good age.." I guess that is a universal fact bc that's what everyone else says too.

dontcallmestepmom's picture

The problem is some (maybe a lot of) kids make accounts their parents are not aware of. So, you may be monitoring the one you know about, but there could be another one that is "secret." I have seen this happen with kids I have worked with-their parents thought they were monitoring, but had no clue there was a whole other account(s).

Last year, I was working with high school kids, and almost every day, there was drama over something on Facebook. Some of it got pretty heated. It is so easy for the kids to post a comment, but they do not realize that they may have to face the consequences of what they write later-in person.

tryingmom's picture

Facebook rules says Age 13, that would be the guideline we'd go with, BUT with monitoring and passwords being handed to us.

BM has allowed SS13 an account (without DH's approval) since he was 10. He is very immature. He only plays games. We are not his FB friends as we really think it's BM running the account. He did FB friend my DH's mother only to have BM block her because she didn't want GM to post on his timeline. All of SS's friends are BM's family and a couple of kids he knows from school. He has sent friend requests to us during school hours, so we know it isn't SS.

newmommy727's picture

My step daughter's mother allowed her to get a facebook account when she was only 7. Her mother blocked my husband and I, as well as my husband's family on FB so that we would not be able to see it. She also instructed my step daughter to lie to us about having an account. I ended up finding out about it through a co-worker who is friends with BM. We reported it to facebook and the account was deleted before the end of the night. BM loves to play these types of games with my husband and has SD lie about everything!

sunbeam0901's picture

I think it all depends on how responsible and/or mature a child is for their age, and also how well the parent(s) monitor their use & actions.

My kids are 10 & 6 and both have had FB accounts for a couple of years now. They only have them so they could play the games. They loved playing the Farmcrap games or whatever on my mom's account so DH & I created their own accounts for them. DH & I set the privacy settings as Fort Knox-like as possible for each one. Only myself, my husband, and my mom knew their passwords so they had to have an adult log them in. They were given rules and told that they could only accept friend requests from immediate family. We blocked all of the people we do not associate with (DH's family). DH & I log in frequently to check their messages and weed out anything that slipped through the privacy cracks.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Thank you everyone for your thoughts!! Sadly BM barely manages to even monitor what her kids do everyday, in real life. Im worried, and that is because I really do love my skids & worry bout their safety.

I, personally, believe 11 is faaaar too young & SS11 has alot of behavioural issues. Hes got a problem being way too interested in sex & sexual stuff already. It scares me!! He also has a big problem when it comes to boundaries. Im questioning if BM perhaps gave into his pleas to be like his older brother, SS14. BM has allowed SS14 to literally date. Like he & his girlfriend hang out every single day & she takes the two of them to places like the Olive Garden so they can date ea other like older kids & Adults do. They are left alone far too much. Dont wanna be a grandparent waaaay too young- ya know? I do question to myself, where in the hell BMs head is!?! She seems to care too much about her boys' popularity way too much & sadly SS14 is Flunking school. Yet he never has any consequences & is involved heavily in a huge array of sports & extra curriculars. All 3 of the boys are. Its a freakin mess!!

My DD8 will Not have a FB so darn young!!! Shes a great kid with straight A's & stuff. More mature then SS11. Thats for sure!!!! But. I want her to stay young as long as possible!!! Same with cell phones! But- thats me. I am raising her very differently then BM is raising the skids.

Trust me, SS11 is Not ready for FB. He acts more like a 6 yr old. Very very immature. Oh buggers!!! Lol

Too young for this kind of crazy's picture

I miss the days when you had to be in college to have a facebook account; things would be better for kids if this were still the case...

Convulsive's picture

My SS11 has a FB account but doesn't really use it, he has not friended his BM but has friended his Dad, me & a few important in his life adults. We have the passwords & use it as a communication tool, birthday party info, etc goes on it but like I said, he's not hugely into it & neither are his friends. NO "fun" computer time, video games or TV occurs during the school week so that cuts down the drama/addiction.

As for no cell phones until 13 (early poster), that's highly unlikely to happen. All my kids have cell phones FOR ME. They aren't for their friends but so that I can monitor them, check in with them, allow them to go on church trips, etc & know that they can pick up a phone & call me for anything-to question a souvenir purchase, to ask about good meal choices, to ask about covering a friend who ran out of money or to alert me ASAP if something is wrong. These phones are a teaching tool so that they learn to make the right choices, in a controlled environment, & grow up to be responsible, forward planning adults.

Gabriels Mom's picture

My SS11 has a FB account. It is closely monitored. A fact he is finding he doesn't like. DH routinely checks it. MIL gave SS a smart phone. When I was working overnights twice I caught him posting from his phone after he was supposed to be in bed. I commented on his posts and his phone got taken away when DH got up.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Update: Ive noticed neither skid has been on FB all day. SS11 does, however, got two posts on there today (none from me of course). One was from her Maternal GM saying "Sweetie- you shoukdnt be on FB so late at night." & one from a friend of mom of his friends, asking him to not send her so many game requests. Hmmm... Lets see what BM does. We cannot control her house & her rules. But we can at our house!!!

bi's picture

i think it depends on the kid. some kids may be mature enough to have a fb at 12, while others may not be mature enough at 15. bd was 14 or 15 when she started her page. my friend's son is 18 and he has fb, but he has the mentality of a 12 year old and shouldn't have it. but what can be done? he's 18. i don't think there is a set age where it's ok, a kid's maturity level should be the deciding factor.