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Feeling Bad for Not Feeling Worse

stepkate's picture

Often I'll think to myself what a terrible person I am because I can't empathize with BF/Mr. Kate's closeness with his daughter. Today is one of those days.

Mr. Kate is trying to get custody of FSD10 because he thinks BM and her husband (a soon-to-be-released convicted felon) may be about to move away with FSD. Knowing as little as I do about child custody cases, I thought (but did not tell him) this was a long shot, because Mr. Kate doesn't have a squeaky clean legal record, either. He is counting on her not having the funds to drag this out and the fact that she can't really support FSD without help from her parents-I think he's being a bit too optimistic.

BM showed up to court and said he shouldn't have any rights because theres no proof he is the father. She had cheated on him several times while they were together. I'm feeling pretty awful that I'm already envisioning my life with him without -or with less of- FSD in it.

Having no kids myself, I don't think I can know what this ordeal feels like for him, and I feel guilty for these little glimmers of hope I feel instead of his pain.


stepkate's picture

He says he'll still pursue custody if thats the case (again, I did not say 'theres no way you'll get it if you're not even the father'). She's been 'his' for 10 years-his feelings for her won't just vanish. I'll admit that if they did, I may question his character a bit.

stepkate's picture

Yeah, I believe she's his. I've never actually met BM (seen her twice) but she doesn't appear to be too bright. I would think she would have to repay an ungodly amount of child support back to him if FSD wasn't his. Weird move on her part, but maybe thats what happens when you try to represent yourself in do and say stupid things.

starfish's picture

if there was a chance skids were not dh's and we had a test that proved it ---- it would be one of the happiest days of my life..... however, that's just a dream..... so, don't feel bad for your thoughts......

s_cherry's picture

FH has a kid from a one night stand and he never did a test. I told him he should do it since the kid doesn`t look like him at all. FH is half black and his daughters have afro hair or very curly and darker skin but this kid is totally white and his hair is streight. I asked him he should go for a test but he said the kid will be always his cos every child deserves a father. Yes but I don`t deserve a complete bitch BM in my life if the kid is not his.
If your FH had his daughter in his life for 10years he is the father no matter what is the test showing