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TrueNorth77's picture

Today on my way into work a female radio DJ was talking to her 2 male co-hosts about a 2nd date she had planned tonight. She hasn't dated much since her divorce, but now she is getting back out there. The date was to go bowling at 6pm. Her dilemma was, although it isn't her custody day, her 7yr old son has baseball practice tonight, which she usually goes to. She likes to go to be in control and see what her son is up to, not because she really wants to be supportive (her words). We're talking rec league PRACTICE, not even a school league. She was torn about going on the date and missing practice, even though she said her son wouldn't care or notice. She talked to her son on the phone yesterday and told him she wasn't going to go, and he said ok....then he asked her why not. She told him she had a 2nd date. The kid said "you have a date? Then I want you to come to practice". She was legit considering if she should move the date to 8pm so she should go to the practice since he "wanted her there"!! Even though she would get home too late since she works very early. Meanwhile, I'm yelling in my car, are you f*cking kidding me?!? This kid was clearly being a manipulative little brat. One of the co-hosts said she should go to the practice and move the date to 8pm. The other said she should miss the practice and keep the date the same time. They then took calls for advice. I frantically dialed, but alas, did not get through. I only heard the first 2 callers (both women), and both told her she should move the date to 8pm and go to the practice. They all went on to discuss how "her kids would always come first", and how she was "obsessed with her kids" (her words)if a guy had a problem with her moving the date because she wanted to go to practice, then that "showed his true colors" and he wasn't the guy for her. 

I about lost my damn mind. I mean, first of all, what about her happiness? She did say she kind of wanted to go to the practice, but had already made these plans knowing she would miss the practice. But then the kid decides he wants to wreck her plans and she considers giving him his way?? And everyone else supports it. I think it's setting such a bad precedent- this kid will learn real fast that if mommy has a date and he doesn't want her to, he can get her to ditch guys. I did text the station with my thoughts, but never heard the outcome of this whole thing.

Thoughts?

Comments

ESMOD's picture

I'm trying to think about how my parents answered to me about their schedules.. oh wait.. nope.. didn't happen.

Now, the bottom line is THIS.  She can view this practice as a "previous commitment" and not make plans during this time.  If she feels her presence is needed then without consulting the kid.. she knows what the right call is.

But the reality is that she knows full well that she doesn't have to go.. the kid never really needs anything and she is there for her own purposes. 

Honestly, giving her 7 year old "adult level" information about going on a date vs just saying she had plans with a friend is kind of a mistake.  She elevated her 7 yo to "peer" status.  A 7yo doesn't need to know about mommy's dating life.. 2nd date is way too early for her to be introducing even the concept of this new guy to her son.

I don't think that the guy is going to mind her saying.. "can we make it 8pm.. I want to go to my son's practice".. but she needs to be awfully careful with the sense of entitlement her son is going to get when he realizes he can make mommy jump when he snaps his fingers.

TrueNorth77's picture

Exactly! She did get feedback that she shouldn’t have told him she had a date, and she agreed. Still. This kid is calling the shots.

TrueNorth77's picture

I find it crazy that she even talks about this on air. If I were the guy I would totally be listening to the show. Or someone he knows would be, so he will find out all that was discussed. 

tog redux's picture

Parents nowadays feel judged if they don't center their entire world around their children (and it's true, as evidenced by some of those callers).  My parents never even went to my games in high school, much less a 7-year-old's recreation league practice, for god's sake.

TrueNorth77's picture

Same! My dad came to 1 volleyball game the entire 3 years I played in high school.

advice.only2's picture

I’d stop listening to that radio show...lol.  She’s obviously a GUBM!  I don’t know when becoming a mother determined you were sanctioned for life but damn I can’t do it, so I guess I’m not a real mom...oh wait nope two kids and they still don’t control my damn life, funny that, guess I won’t get MOTY on my fakebook page this year, boo!

TrueNorth77's picture

Right? A BM who is "obsessed with her kids", what could go wrong?

Siemprematahari's picture

This BM is giving her kid too much power already. The kid said he was ok with her missing practice and she wasn't going to be missed so to me all the extra she did was unncessary. I don't understand how parents give so much control to a child....last I checked I AM the adult......