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Just a SD vent

SSstepmom's picture

My SD14 has anger issues. My dh of course hasn't realized that they're going to cause her problems. Well I'm hoping he's starting to see the light now. She got her report card last week and it was very good but her chorus teacher failed her for never participating. Well the other day in chorus her teacher asked her to please sing and stop laughing and fooling around. She said (quoted by the teacher) "I'm not singing because this is the worse class and you are the worse teacher and you can just go to hell" she got sent to the principal and on the way out of the room yelled for her to rot in hell. So fun. Well that very same afternoon on the bus she threatened to stab some girls who were apparently bothering her. Of course that resulted in those girls parents calling the bus company and the school. She got a detention and 2 days of in school suspension. She's in 8th grade. I am so dreading the high school years. Well all she does is lie and manipulate the crap out of dh. I finally told him listen I know you want my help with them but the discipline it self is to be doled out by you. I cannot help if you only take some of my advice here and there tho. I opened his eyes to how they were lying and making everything they do sound like someone else's fault. Well he gave her her punishment of no phone and not stepping foot out of the house to go see friends (she has a lot of friends her and her twin hang out with in the neighborhood so that's the big punishment. Even bigger than the phone) well she wasn't having it. Told him had no right to tell her she can't go outside. She slammed the door in his face and ran out. We had no clue where she had ran to it was dark and raining we ended up calling the police after a while who were happy to help. They found her and the officer told us he read her the riot act and she shouldn't be doing that again. We shall see. They have no bio mom so it's just dh and I. He hates handing out the punishments and feels bad but doesn't usually go against my advice for big things like this. I tell him I have your back and I'll help you. But YOU have to put your foot down. Something happened yesterday and I was so happy it did. He now sees I am not joking when I say his girls manipulate the crap out of him and he has the wool pulled over his eyes. SD comes in from school and she's hugging him telling him she loves him and how she  had a good day and behaved so well (in her in house suspension mind you lol) and said she wrote apology letters to the girls and the chorus teacher.  Great. Well not 2 minutes later. "Can I please just go down to the park for 20 min) of course that was a no and she flipped out and told him how she's living in hell being "locked up". He told her she goes to school and we have a big back yard you can go sit in you're not locked up. After she slammed herself back in her bedroom he looked at me and said. Ok I get what you're saying. Thank god. But omg my stress level this week. Sheesh. I also found out she tatooed her twins ankle the other night with rubbing alcohol, a needle and pen ink. Dh is very oblivious unless things slap him upside the head so I let him know this last night. Idk what he plans to do with that. Probably nothing. Bleh 

thanks for letting me vent. I feel like I can't always do it with friends. I don't have any step parent mom friends so it's tough. 

Comments

SeeYouNever's picture

Omg the poke tattoo!! I would be livid about that even if it was on her friend.

8th grade is like the last chance you have to turn around behavior problems before they get into really bad things. I hope your husband can get behind you and get her in line. You gotta keep a lock on her or end she couldcup with a criminal record for violence or a teen Mom in a few short years. These outbursts become less cute as they get older.

SSstepmom's picture

Yes I'm really hoping he sticks with her punishments and keeps on top of her after these incidents. He was stressed out really bad so I'm hoping he keep thats in mind