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utlimatium i gave dh-i'm disengaging-all but financially

spunkiedolittle's picture

ok so i e-mailed dh, told him that HE needs to set his foot down with sd, this is my way of disegaging to sd's laziness.

she's gotten in this BAD habit of sleeping til noon even though her son is up-regardless the day of the week. so dh is home, fixing to start back at school and looking for jobs, he gets up WITH me, as i get ready for work, he gets the two kids that are in school up, and gets them ready for school-i have zero part in that. he takes care of dd and sd when they get home, gets dinner done before i get home, etc. so i told him, if you don't set your foot down with sd24 NOW *YOU* will be the one getting up for the baby when it's born OR she'll bring the baby in the living room and leave us to take care of him while she goes back to sleep. (as she had done with us and her son when we were dog sitting a puppy-puppy was up crying all night so she didn't get much sleep-hell, NONE of us did-but i still got up and went to work the next day AT 7AM had to be up at 5 to be out the door by 6) my way around that-i LOVE outside work(i'll make myself sick-accidentally-and dh sometimes HAS to take the tools from me to get me to stop-i can over do it), i'll get up and go work outside, mowing, clearing tree area's putting up fencing so we can get some livestock for dd and sd to show in FFA-being a mom-and sd13 and dd8 will come with me, they love helping because they know that spunkie will ALWAYS reward their good behaviour and helping around the house-and they know we'll be doing that FOR THEM so they MUST help or it wont get done.

so if HE doesn't set his foot down, HE gets to miss out on me and the 2 minors BEING A FAMILY.........so we'll see how this goes. I told him i will not take part in preparing meals (or fixing his plate) for gson, i will not take part in dicipline unless gson directly disobey's ME-not the house rules but ME-like back talking me, etc, i will not take part in bathing (i didn't anyway because he's a boy) i will not take part in purchasing HIM medicine's, clothes, NONE, i'm simply providing a roof and bed-THAT'S IT!

i feel so bad saying this but i can't keep giving my full throttle to EVERYONE with no one to pick up the slack and help.

*I* have dd8 to worry about, now (because i'm cp smom-yes she's HIS kid, but i'm the mother of MY house) sd13, i have my 2 neices eowe, because dad's (yes dad's-my brother and my adopted neices dad) is mia-so i pick up the slack with them too (i REFUSE to NOT pick that up-i have been doing that for MOST of their lives-almost 10 years, i WILL NOT stop that-if i don't they wont know our side of the family-i don't know my dad's side, because no one wanted to "make time for us" i refuse to let that happen to my neices)

so i also told dh the reality of things.........she stays up on the computer or watching tv all hours of the night, follows no schedule-m-f i'm out the door before gson gets up
the other night, dh REALLY PISSED ME OFF. i told gson (he was watching a movie just before bed time, and WOULD NOT sit still, kept wanting to get up and jump and dance) so mom warned him 30,000x, so i told him "one more and it's bed time" dh got on to him and WARNED him again..........i said NOTHING (i don't believe in underminding other authorities in front of the kids, never have never will......but we did talk later and told him "you realize you told gson that i have no authority in this house" when i explained he understood and saw the light and has backed me up on EVERYTHING SINCE with gson

so we'll see if he can back me up with sd24............if not HE can deal with the baby, i will not do it.

hopefully he'll give her a "move out" ultimatium if nothing changes by Jan 1, i'm going to start charging her rent/her part of the utilities, etc, and will find out what can be done to make it a LEGAL contract, so i can hold her responsible if she decides to bail

Comments

bestwife's picture

You are the breadwinner. Kick that worthless piece of trash and her spawn out NOW. NOW - not later. She is 24 years old. Take her to a shelter and dump her if you have to.

He is never going to give her a move out ultimatum. You are going to have to do it. You have the power of the purse strings. Use it.

I let SS also 24 sit in jail for two weeks because I refused to pay his fine for assaulting an elderly man.