stayorgo
so im dealing with a husband who feels he doesnt need to discipline, teach or mentor his two kids 13/6 about what it means to respect, appreciate things, what its like to earn something...he feels they are kids and they dont have to learn that way. i find it troubling. in fact he told me that I, the wife, the step-mother, have to earn their respect rather than them having to actually listen when i tell them to do something or anything for that matter. or if they say no, its ok because the excuse is they are kids. when they lie and they say they didnt do what i just said they did and nothing gets done, where im the one to blame. this has taken a tole on me and the relationship my own daughter and i have...im actually leaning towards divorce. i have no role, and he doesnt encourage one, he lets them run the house and i refuse to let my daughter grow up like that or even think its ok. he doesnt seem to care if i leave or stay anyway. im a stepchild to someone and because of my step-dad (dad) i have learned a lot and thank him for that. it had nothing to do with not having a childhood.
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Read "Stepmonster" by
Read "Stepmonster" by Wednesday Martin. You'll feel validated. Then hand it over to DH to read, hopefully it will straighten his ass out.
It was different before we
It was different before we were married. i lived in a different state still. when i moved up there, its like the ex had all kinds of plans for the kids...but youre right tho, i dont know. i can only guess that i was manipulated by this guy bc he is nothing like he made himself out to be; when i finally moved up there things went to hell. more especially after i had my daughter and didnt have my husband for help bc he was always gone doing some favor for the exwife so she can have a life...it just keeps goin and going. i just cant take it anymore
We took the skids out for ice
We took the skids out for ice cream yrs ago and just as a normal way to encourage manners I said to say thank you. Right in front of them my DH said, they don't ever have to thank me for anything. My head almost spun around in circles! Some people have even the basic child rearing principles so backwards....
Ugh, that is crazy---a pet
Ugh, that is crazy---a pet peeve of mine is when my SO tells the kids to "say you are sorry" and its so fake when they do. One day he said it and I said "Wait a second here...how old are you 3?" They all looked at me and answered. I said "Then you are all old enough to know what you did wrong and that you need to apologize and not be told to. if you are NOT sorry then do not say it." Normally I do not correct my SO in front of his kids but he did speak up and said "She is right, I shouldn't remind you of your manners anymore."
Disengage or leave, it will
Disengage or leave, it will only get worse...this is nothing but a sign of things to come!
I wholeheartedly agree with
I wholeheartedly agree with StepAside!!!! He's got things twisted in his parental thoughts!! I wish you the best though- as my DH is just now opening his eyes to his kids true issues. But, I totally think even at that, my DH will go back to his old ways. It's a loooooooong hard road ;(
Vent here, it truly helps!!