I’ve noticed that SS16 seems to be a lot nicer to me when SS21 is not around.
I’ve always struggled to feel like I’m not an outsider when SS16 and SS21 are together. Here’s is an example of that. SS16 nowadays will look for my affections, hug me in the mornings etc. Yesterday I was in the process of moving and I found that my bathroom spray was in his room. He then stated that it’s because every time I cook the house smells bad.
Now this is not the first time he says that but I am starting to notice that he tends to act that way more when SS21 is around and his father isn’t.
Yesterday he also acted as though he was going to throw something at DD6 and then said “haha you flinched”, just provoking her and I told him to stop and he gave me lip, saying that I am supposed to teach her how to be thick skinned.
I couldn’t get past both of these things as the day progressed so when he asked if I was okay I told him no and explained that I feel like when his brother is around he tends to ridicule me yet I don’t treat him that way when my family is around. He tried to put it on SS21, saying that he could see how I was probably upset because SS21 was instigating by laughing. I told him I didn’t see SS21 laughing but even so, he is closer to me and I feel that he should change that and then he says I make him feel
bad too whenever I say that he takes everyone’s things without asking (which is one of his major flaws that annoys me).I told him that he’s changing the subject and anyway, that’s true, he needs to have more respect for boundaries etc etc .
Dh is watching this shit show not really saying much and later on we get into it because I asked him if he had gotten to speak to ss about what happened and he said no. I told him that I have a huge issue with SS lack of respect and boundaries and DH stated that he doesn’t have an issue with SS touching his stuff. I then told him that the next time SS16 bullies DD6 and tries to act like he doesn’t understand why it’s wrong I’m sending him to DH so DH can deal with him (dh normally works a split shift so he’s not home half of the evenings). Dh then goes on a rant, saying that he cares about DD6 as much as I do, to the point that DD6 asked me to ask him to stop yelling because she felt uncomfortable. He then begins to mope and DD asks him what’s wrong and he says that I’m going to kick him out, which I never said.
I just told DD6 I didn’t say that and tried to change the subject so she wouldn’t be in the middle of something she doesn’t need to hear.
Now I’m just fuming, feeling misunderstood and angrier with DH more than anything because kids are kids, they are going to do and act how they will unless their parent actually parents them. The fact that DH says it’s not a big deal for anyone to take his stuff without understanding what that means for me is not okay, along with speaking loud to the point of where DD can hear our arguments, which she has said in the past make her feel bad.
Sometimes being married to a person that has kids who haven’t been taught how to respect and appreciate boundaries suck ass.