(Again I am very new at this...only met my SD twice, never met the BM...but have already gone through a ton of drama...)
My DH and I were informed (two months ago) That my SD is has been living with her BM's mom for five months. WHY? Because BM likes to party. BM has a crappy boyfriend. He is a drunk. "He is pure evil and I hate himm" Is what my SD always says. So she decided to move in with him ..bringing SD along for the HEALTTHY ride. They moved 3 times this year. Then BM and her lover broke up...dramatically. So BM sent SD to live with her mom so she could get back together with her boyfriend. BM begged her mother if she could live with her too but her mother said "No, I cannot handle the choices you are making right now...just cant do it anymore" So BM moved in with a friend. Bought BM has been calling us acting as if she was sstill living with SD and talkin to us about raising CS and refusing us to see the child. HOW did we finally find out? Because THE GRANDMA called us one day explaining to us that SD WHO IS ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD has been throwing up,waking up in the middle of the night crying, not eating...begging for daddy. The grandma explained the living situation and right away we insisted on seeing SD.
I will blog about this week...because honestly im not sure what to do but one more note:

BM: Your daughter is NOT your bestfriend. SHE IS ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD!! Yes, she is very smart, very mature, but NO EIGHT year old can handle the stress that you cause her when you tell her all of your problems. SUCH AS: "My boyfriend kicked me out and mom wont let me stay with her...I have no where to go" This is what she told SD when she called last night...we couldnt get her to stop crying for an hour. I AM READY FOR A FIGHT...so this child can have some peace...and so my DH can too. I am ready....but really not ready at all.