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After 5 years, FSKs ask their father to break up with me and move out

SituationalTourettes's picture

They waited until my bios and I went to church on Sunday and then they sat my fiancé down and demanded he break up with me immediately and move out. Apparently, although there's been no major events or change in status quo except for me disengaging as much as possible, they "hate" me. They tried to use our own words against us. My fiancé and I agreed way back in 2009 when we started dating that we would end it if neither of us got along with the other's kids or the kids didn't get along. From day one, those kids were buddies and had a blast. We were a family for years until BM worked her PAS magic on the oldest, FSD20, and now both have slowly worked their poison into FSD16 and FSS12.

FDH is furious, my biokids are hurt and angry, my future inlaws are all confused and horrified, and I'm just like, let the new drama begin.

FDH went off, put some new rules in place (that I think in the end will shock the hell out of his kids when they truly realize the consequences), and refused to leave me and my kids. I don't think FSD16 or FSS12 know the shitstorm they've started but it's gonna be interesting to see.

They have no conception of just how much of their lives with their dad was orchestrated by me. Oh, he loves them and is a very attentive dad. But trust me, he knows just how much I do and have done. We both feel very betrayed.

I have no more loyalty to those kids. And as a BM myself, it mystifies me the bullshit the ex does to mess with those kids. The ex got an earful from FDH too. He and I think it's the big sis FDS20 leading the reins this time but BM started the original nightmare. The ex was told she better find out what the hell is going on at her end and stop it or she's gonna have a lot of time with those kids when he refuses to take them on his weekends. Looks like those kids finally made him snap. Interesting because a lot of this I have been seeing for a while.

Comments

Maxwell09's picture

Parent alienation syndrome....basically when one parent passive aggressively or otherwise poisons a child's mind about the other parent usually with lies of abuse or neglect that doesn't exist.

DeeDeeTX's picture

How are they using your words against you? It sounds like you actually promised you'd break up if one person didn't get along with the other's kids. That was a very silly thing to say, and you shouldn't have said it, but you did. And now they're calling you on it. That's not using your words against you, that's asking you to follow through on a promise.

DeeDeeTX's picture

I'll huh you right back.

Apparently the OP made this promise to her SKs, and they called her on it. To me, that's not the definition of using her words against her. That's the definition of taking her at her word.

Now, I'll readily agree she shouldn't have promised such a stupid thing, but apparently she did. There was no word twisting involved, at least not by the narrative the OP wrote.

tryingmom's picture

My fiancé and I agreed way back in 2009 when we started dating that we would end it if neither of us got along with the other's kids or the kids didn't get along.

The promise was between the adults.

Most Evil's picture

Children do not make rules for adults.!!

Good on your DH for not bowing to the pressure!!!

Keepsmiling's picture

Why do these stepkids think they can control your life? Not just yours; but, mine and most of the posters here.

WTF...REALLY's picture

You must be heart broken - this after 5 years. How sad.

DH and you are in charge of your life - not the kids or any ex's. Hang in there and stay strong. What a bummer.

WTF...REALLY's picture

hAHAHAHAHA - So true! My hubby says that to me all the time. Thank god you DD is grown up and out of the house and I am dealing with your DS. Girls can be bitches! He sees it is harder for me with a SD than him with a SS. Too funny!

SituationalTourettes's picture

I understand how what we said originally could be construed. But here's the thing, after 5 years? Come on. You can't be serious that I am supposed to suddenly halt our whole lives because the SKs decide on a whim that they want us to alter our entire lives. The main whining they seem to be doing is because I am not a pushover. I don't allow them to disrespect their father, me or my bios and not each other. I don't allow Dad to be a convenient ATM and I calls em as I sees em. Hard to believe but I have never wavered in who I am or how I handle things. So for five years, they were more than happy to turn to me for time and my money when BM was off playing house with her own BF and too busy going to bars and restaurants? Mommy starts to see her youngest two getting closer and closer to me and the seven of us (me, them, my 3 bios and their dad) becoming more of a family and all of a sudden she puts on gas to try to be mom of the year. She fails at it because SKs make it a point to bitch about her constantly especially to my bios.

The kids are hypocrites pure and simple. And as for BM, she knows my fiancé will follow through. She's a coward. He's outsmarted her so many times it's embarrassing. I would almost feel sorry for her if she wasn't such a narcissist brat. She created the monsters.

WTF...REALLY's picture

She's mad and hurt. After 5 years to say "Hey - break up - you said you would if we said so."

I would be hurt to and name calling would happen for a while - at least on a venting site it would!