Disrespectful adult stepdaughter
My S/O has a 19 year old daughter that only calls him when she wants money or a ride somewhere. He admits that she is spoiled and manipulative and should set boundries with her regarding the money and rides, but he doesn't enforce his own rules. I finally told him that I was staying out of commenting on this behavior, that it is between the two of them. However, she does one thing that drives me nuts. She just walks into our house as she is "knocking" if the door isn't locked. If it is locked she will turn the knob and try to come in. My S/O finally took away her key because she has been repeatedly asked to wait for us to answer the door. The last ime she was on her way over, I got up and locked the door, and he got very angry with me. He said he supported me when he thought she was trying to break us up, but he doesn't think she is now. I don't think she is trying to break us up, but I think she is trying to assert her role as "primary" over our relationship. I feel I have the right to insist that anyone not living here knock and wait for permission to enter. My own children would never just walk in. Since I have established my "rule" I feel I cannot back down now, nor do I want to. This isn't about "the door." It's about respect, and now I don't even want her to come over because it is an issue everytime she does. How do I get my honey to understand it's not that I dislike his daughter or want him to "dump her" as he put it?
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Different families have
Different families have different rules about knocking
I don't care that my SD has a key to our home or that she walks in without knocking. That being said she does abide by my rule that she is not to come over without DH there and she is not allowed in the home alone without prior consent by DH.
But since you have asked SD to knock and wait for the door to be opened and your SO had agreed to that - I would keep the front door locked. Or if/when she walks in without waiting for the door to be opened - your SO should correct her. You shouldn't have to take this on.
Hehe!!!
Thanks for the feedback!
Thanks for the feedback! StepAside, we did warn her that just might happen, but she obviously doesn't care! I dread every weekend and I noticed that a chronic illness I have seems to get worse every weekend. I want to be able to bring it up, but the last time we had an argument and was accused of trying to get him to dump his daughter. He also joins her on bashing her Mom, which I find very harmful to his daughter; she has problems with her mother because she has been allowed to use a heart condition to get her way, and now the Mom is trying to set boundries, better late than never.This is new for me, since I have never been with a man with an emotionally immature adult child. My adult children are older and have learned to be self-sufficient. My daughter is a single mom and does ask for a bit of help now and then, but I do say no when I feel it is enabling her, and tho I feel a bit guilty, I know that is the best thing for her. SD has lost her second job in as many months and not repaid money she borrowed (for once) and is now asking almost every weekend for cash and then announces what movie she is going to while she is getting the money. I get lectured on a $45 electric bill, so I feel resentful even tho I don't make comments anymore, and now he went from complaining about her asking for money to giving it to her behind my back. I feel like finding a reason to leave for awhile the next time she just barges in. Should I?
I am having problems with my
I am having problems with my 33-year old step-daughter who we have been supporting for over 5-1/2 years now. She is on Social Security disability and has two minor children. She rents a house from us and we have to put out an additional $1,000 per month to support her and her children. She receives no child support from the two fathers of her children. I am 54 years old and work two jobs to pay my own personal bills. My husband pays our mortgage and I pay all the utility bills, my car insurance, medical and life insurance, phone and cable bills and the electric bill. I have multiple sclerosis and shouldn't even be working all the hours I do. I am now getting very resentful of the situation with supporting my husband's daughter and grandchildren. I don't think I am being selfish. I have a good relationship with my step-daughter and her children, but enough is enough. I have caught her in some lies lately and when I confronted her, she called me a "bitch". I don't feel I deserve to be talked to like that. I am working hard and feel that I am being disrespected by all parties involved. I am getting to the point where I want to leave, but I don't know what to do. Has anyone been in a similar situation that can offer some advice? I would appreciate any feedback. THank you.