You are here

I don't even know

Renahemleezy's picture

Submitted by Renahemleezy on Mon, 03/07/2022 - 3:22pm

Soooo 

My step child goes to a school  40 min away from my home she car pools with somone so it helps however the person can no longer take my step child school  which leaves us in a situation... soooo I do feel selfish but I told my partner I know it's my step child but is it Ok if she goes to a school more local and close to us so it will be easier to pick her up or she can catch the bus home I told my partner this because it's a lot for me to do this it really is!   .......especially after a heavy day of work and  running errands then having to drive on the other side of town  I am.trying to make things easier for us but I rather have her in a local school it's a lot especially for the  next 5 years my partner agreed it would be easier for her to go to a school more local but do I suppose to feel selfish for suggesting this like I shouldn't even be the decision maker but I told my partner I am sorry this is something I can not do  ...it's not fair that I have to feel guilt  I feel forced to do something that I don't want to do. My partner family think I am being selfish for not letting her stay at same school since the one around my area is not as good  like you can not get mad at me I just a step mom who feel this is a inconvenience for me I just don't know 

Comments

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 03/07/2022 - 3:47pm

if you have no say in what school she goes to, and no say in her schedule or how she gets to/from, then NOPE not your problem. My SDs had a nightmare commute to/from school to DH's home when I first met them - and I was never ever expected to transport them. I did a few times, very few, only when DH had a situation in which he could not get them there.

This past year YSDs schedule became bananas. I waasn't allowed to have a say in anything about it, combined with some transpo issues over the summer, and that sealed the deal on my putting my foot down and DH finding himself a used car and me backing even further off of helping.  Now, I do help but fairly rarely if YSD happens to have a schedule that coincides with mine and I can drop off/pick up with zero extra time or effort on my part.

If you WANT to do it you can - but be aware that you must let something else drop; like you do not grocery shop or run errands. You cannot do it all.  AND if your stepkid is respectful and appreciative. If not, then drop it like a hot potato. I do not drive beastly kids around.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Mon, 03/07/2022 - 4:32pm

My partner family think I am being selfish for not letting her stay at same school 

How much of the transportation have they volunteered to do? My guess is none. Your partner needs to shut them down. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Tue, 03/08/2022 - 8:18am

Like the others have said, your partners family don't get a say unless they are going to handle transportation for you. It makes sense that she would ride a bus to and from school and be done with it. That is what MOST kids do. That's why there are school zones. Sure, it stinks to change schools but it is also a great opportunity for her to make new friends and learn to deal with changes in life. It happens and this is nothing to feel bad about. If you are doing any of the transportation, then you have a say in this. You also have the ability to say no. I am not doing it. They can figure it out if they feel strongly about it.