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Mean Spirited

Patricia Cahill's picture

Step Mother:   My current husband and I dated one another in our early 20's now, 48 years later as widowers we meet again.  I having never been a mother nor parent at 69 was gifted with my husbands six adult children.  Now how bad can that be???   These people are not from a divorced enviornment.  Usally divorced environments are emotionally hosstile.  I was quite surprised to experience these types of hostilities within my husbands children.  This has been three years in the making for me.

  Since I consider myself a rebel/renagade in this life but always have been kind and nice to everyone till confrontation arrised.   In other words, I can take care of myself.  Have been Successful with School, Career and Friendships.

 I've decided to divorce myself from this hurtful, hateful, hostile behaviour towards me and my husband.  At 72 yrs. old, toxic will not be my end of life flavour.  Plus, you may kringe at this, but their children are not my blood grandchildren.  I loved them as sweet, innocent wee ones, showered them with gifts and lots of love.  They will not be calling me Grandy any longer but by my first name, if or when I ever see them again.  And Step Mother is an ugly word and I will not be labeled that any longer either........You're probably wondering how the poor husband is dealing, well, frankly, he feels the same way.  They have used him as a "pack mule" all his life with hands out.  He will continue be there for them and see them when ever but without me.  The disrespect they offer him has ended.

So, that is what is happening in my life right now, I don't like it but I ain't taking crap any longer.

Comments

Maxwell09's picture

Life is too short to continue that way. It is good you both are on the same page and ready to finish up this life with less hurt and toxicity from these people. They are all grown now, they are making their own choices whether to be repectful or not and should no longer be blaming their dad or hating their dad for his choices as it no longer affects them. 

Siemprematahari's picture

Good for you for standing up for yourself! If you don't, no one else will and you have your integrity and self respect intact. I commend you for doing this and its only right to love and look after YOU! It seems like you have disengaged from his children and this is one of the healthiest things you could have ever done for yourself.

I wish you well and many positive and happy moments!

AlwaysSmiling's picture

The way you were greeted into your husband's family is awful, especially after you accepted his grandchildren in by letting them call you a cute grandma like nick name.  I wish my dad would find someone else. My stepmother passed away many years ago and he never remarried. I worry that he is lonely. Your husband is lucky to have found someone as fiesty as you are! 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Good for you!

BTW, if this is your real name and location, you may want to change it. This site is public. Contact Admin to change your user name to something anonymous (if you wish). Smile

StepUltimate's picture

"At 72 yrs. old, toxic will not be my end of life flavour."

I love it! That's one excellent pronouncement. Way to go!!