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DH can't handle the truth

over step's picture

DH is singlehandedly redecorating Puke's room. My only stipulation was the budget.

Last night I was with DH as he was buying some things for her room. He asked if I thought he was getting carried away with it. I sidestepped it somehow because truthfully I think he's wasting time and money. He then asked why I was letting him do this. All I said was "I can't tell you no".

Now I don't know exactly how he took it as it could have been taken two ways. I can't tell you no because I want you to be happy or I can't tell you no because you don't want me to when it comes to your daughter. Both of these are true in their own right but one is voluntary and one is not.

From his reaction though it appears that he is aware of both truths and the fact that if I didn't love him that I wouldn't be so closed mouthed about this. I think it stung him a bit to hear it out loud.

It has been difficult for me to see him be so motivated to do this when I cannot motivate him to do what is needed. This is my inner conflict that I am dealing with as I bust my butt to prepare for my family's Christmas get-together alone. It is apparent that our priorities vastly differ. This is a fact that appears to be true when skids are involved yet we as partners pick up the pieces when those skids abandoned their parents. Those darn priorities.

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oneoffour's picture

He is over extendng himself for her because if he doesn't she will walk. He is trying to buy her.
With you? Meh, he knows you are unlikely to go anywhere and you don't have a better offer so he knows you are with him.

Now if you were dating and he REALLY wanted you he would over-extend himself. The thing is SD can withold her affection and having that go is more scary than letting you go.

over step's picture

Oh I've told him this. Just keeping my mouth shut so when he's gone through all this and she stops coming I can chuckle in silence.