You are here

BM who is an ER doc temporarily loses custody

notsurehowtodeal's picture

An ER doctor who shared 50/50 custody of her daughter with her ex-husband has lost any custody time with her daughter due to the fact that she works with COVID-19 patients. She feels like she is being discriminated against because she is divorced - if they were still married her child would not have been taken away. Not sure how I feel about this, but she does have a point.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/theresa-greene-daughter-custody-coronavir...

Comments

DPW's picture

I actually see both sides of this argument. She works in one of the deadliest places right now and I would also be scared for my child if I was the father. On the other side, I can't imagine not seeing my child for months, through no fault of my own. I wonder what hospitals are doing to assist workers not transfer the virus out of work?

Aunt Agatha's picture

They aren't doing anything for health care workers! Not even testing the health care works even if they've been directly exposed in the hospitals my sister and BIL work in.

Yes it sucks not to see your kids.  Would suck even more if they caught it from their parents.  Social distancing needs to be enforced for now.

The virus won't last forever, but death from the virus does.

lieutenant_dad's picture

This woman is stupid and making a stupid complaint.

Sorry, but your kid HAS the option to be with someone who DOES NOT put her at risk. There have been many healthcare folks who have sent their kids to live with other family, have quarantined themselves when they are at home by living in extra bedrooms or other floors and not having physical contact with their spouses and kids, are living in RVs or campers on their property, or utilizing deeply discounted hotel rates for HCPs to stay away from home entirely.

But this child is 4. She HAS to have physical contact with her. NONE of our HCPs have adequate PPE (as in, PPE they SHOULD have to deal with this, not what they're using because it's what's available) unless they are in a rural state that hasn't been hit hard yet. I feel bad that this woman has lost TEMPORARY custody of her child, but her wanting to keep it isn't based on what's good for her child. It's based on what's good for her fee-fees.

This angers me so greatly because this woman IS an ER doctor. Outside an infectious disease specialist and respiratory therapist (and anyone assisting these folks), this woman is #1 on the frontlines. The viral loads these folks are exposed to is astronomically high. There is a theory (though no proof yet) that part of the reason why HCPs are more prone to serious disease even with fewer/no underlying health conditions is due to the amount of virus they are exposed to. Even if that gets debunked...

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO EXPOSE YOUR CHILD?!

I'll give some credence to the idea that her ex might try alienating the girl, but if a court in Florida is giving Dad sole custody, I'm inclined to believe that Dad is a decent parent. But I'll eat my worda if I'm wrong.

Crspyew's picture

& wants to reopen schools because the young kids don't seem to "get it". That state?  This isn't abt protecting a child's life because the government of that state has demonstrated a singular lack of regard for human life.  
we don't know all the circumstances; we don't know if the ER doctor had mitigation's in place to minimize contact in her home.  Not sure I agree with the courts decision.

GoingWicked's picture

4 year olds are not really affected, so I can't see it being for the kid's safety,  The kid is more likely to die of influenza.  I'm willing to bet Dad is over 40 with diabetes/hypertension or lives with his elderly parents.  So the kid going back and forth would be the problem.  That's a tough decision.

However, I do think this is a slippery slope, they can't just take children out of the homes of healthcare workers, simply because they are healthcare workers.

SteppedOut's picture

Tell that to the parents of children that have died or are very ill and/or in the hospital. 

While kids are not as likely and it happens far less, they still are affected. It's a small chance, but one that clearly worries dad (and the judge). 

I'm not saying I do or do not agree. But there are front line health care workers are choosing to social distance from their families. Likewise, some are not. We only her the stories on the news, all of them involve intact families. 

 

GoingWicked's picture

I bet you more kids die in car accidents this year than coronavirus.  Maybe we should take kids away from parents that drive them around?

SteppedOut's picture

Right. So let's add on a very easily preventable disease to potential childhood death. 

Do you believe in vaccination? Why? What are the chances, right?

GoingWicked's picture

Yes, I believe in vaccination, no I don't believe in freaking out and taking people's kids away from them for a disease that causes less harm to them than the flu.  Even if there's a vaccine, it's not going to be timely enough, plus there's indications that this might be seasonal, since people who have had the virus before are getting it again, we're probably going to have to deal with this for a long time.   

When exactly does this woman get to see her kid again?   

Most people are going to get this disease, that's why they're saying "slow the spread" not "stop the spread", so not everyone gets sick at the same time, creating an overwhelmed healthcare system with more deaths than necessary. And just about everyone will be okay.  A lot of people won't even have symptoms, which is a problem (along with the virus being super hard to kill, and very contagious).  Yes, there will be deaths, and some very sick people, and yes, it is very sad.  It is a national emergency.  However, the freak out reactions this is giving some people is not proportional to the death rate. 

Livingoutloud's picture

I agree with Petronella. It's not losing custody, it's being reasonable. I believe that responsible parent would elect to temporarily not see their child. Irresponsible unreasonable parents would insist that their entitlements and rights are more important than safety, they are just causing problems and end up in court. I am glad that this judge is sane and reasonable.  No one died from not seeing their kid for a bit, but people sure die of covid19 every day 

strugglingSM's picture

There are just as many stories of married ER doctors who are voluntarily isolating from their children or sending them away at this time. She might have made the same decision if she were married - to send the child off with her father out of harms way. She just feels as though her ex has won, so this again, is about the mother, not the child.

Willow2010's picture

I think this is just awful.  This judge should be off the bench. 

This BM is on the front line so I would assume she knows how to stay safe.  She probably has less of a chance of catching this mess than the idiot that goes to the grocery store with no facemask and no gloves and gets too close to everyone.  

What is going to happen when they start taking all of the first responders kids away.  This is just absurd and overstepping.  If I was BM I would quit and keep my family together and let the government take care of me and my kids.  

I really would not but this just burns my butt.  however, I think the government if full of total idiot that are power hungry and we are just letting them lead us all like little lambs.  

 

still learning's picture

She probably has less of a chance of catching this mess than the idiot that goes to the grocery store with no facemask and no gloves and gets too close to everyone.  

I was at Winco the other day and saw a few families in there with their small children. None of the moms or kids were wearing masks. Some of the kids were running down the isles and having a great time. I assume mom was letting them since they've likely been cooped up in the house and the playgrounds are closed. Where is big brother coming to take away those children? Obviously mom is not doing a great job of protecting her children.  

still learning's picture

Also, if a divorced front line essential healthcare workers child is going to be temporarily taken away then it should apply to ALL the workers out there being potentially exposed to the virus on a daily basis. This would apply to postal workers, bus drivers, grocery clerks, healtcare workers at all levels including janitorial and sanitation workers. Mechanics, fast food employees, and the list goes on. We have no idea who is infected or asymptomatic, any of them could be exposed when they are out. 

How do we know this dad is really going to keep the kid safe? Does he not work outside the home?  is he going to pawn off the kid to his spouse/SO or parents if he does have to work? How does he know that he's not being exposed if he leaves the house. WHat if he's one of those parents who lets their kids run around the store during all this?  The judges decision was rash and hopefully will be challenged and overturned.  The impact that this decision has on all essential workers is horrific if it were unilatterally applied.  

GoingWicked's picture

Maybe he's a millionaire with a bunker and doesn't plan on letting his kid see sunshine until there's a cure.

still learning's picture

I agree with the doctor that she is being discriminated because she is divorced. There are many healthcare workers who share dwellings with their children and spouses after they come home from work. I'm sure she understands how to protect her child from infection. In fact, she may understand better than the father who is not a healthcare worker. Who knows what he's really doing to protect his child. This sets an awful precedent of removing children from a healthcare workers home simply because they are divorced.  If this ruling were to be applied unilaterally then ALL healthcare workers should have their children removed from their homes, married or not.  

lieutenant_dad's picture

Follow-up to this, too:

The BM is high risk for contracting COVID-19. Knowing what precautions to take and being able to take them are two entirely different things right now.

Dad is in a crappy spot. He either continues with week on/week off, knowing his daughter is being exposed (and I'm not blaming the BM for that; it comes with the job), and being a child, is the most likely to be an asymptomatic carrier. So now he and his house are at risk every time DD comes over. So visitation has to stop to prevent spread.

So does Dad stop visitation and leave it up to BM to do it all, knowing she is an ER doc and probably realizing his kid will be in childcare with yet other people (even if it's family) while BM works? Or does he fight to keep his daughter in one spot so that she doesn't become Typhoid Mary?

And the court has to weigh that, too. It's not just the health and safety of the child; it's the health and safety of the parents, too. If both parents get sick, who is going to tale care of the kid? Especially if the kid is the one spreading the virus?

It's a crap decision that has to be made, and if these were teenagers who were more self-sufficient, I might think differently. But this is a toddler. This is a kid that HAS to be physically minded. And I'm flabbergasted that BM, having watched healthy people become ill I'd assume, would want to put her child at risk.

Felicity0224's picture

I feel like the court overstepped here. Unless someone is like the head of a drug cartel, we can't reduce someone's custody because of their jobs. It's not right. However, I also feel like BM should have made the decision voluntarily and avoided court in the first place. I personally know a lot of healthcare workers who are isolating from their families - some even living in separate houses - right now. 

Monkeysee's picture

How have they overstepped though, the judge did their job. It’s his or he job to make a ruling, and that’s what they did. Where’s the overstepping? It’s not like the judge went to BM’s home and personally removed the child his or herself..