Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
Comments
"But researchers now think
"But researchers now think that much of the damage is actually caused by the conflict which led to the split, rather than the split itself."
YES!! DH and BM2 fought and fought like monsters before, during and a bit after their divorce. This is what SS remembers the most.
As a child, I remember the cold, distant, strained relationship between my parents and both my brother and I wished they had divorced long before they actually did.
Most step parents are not the problem. It is the fact that one bio parent is mentally and emotionally unstable and cannot co-parent with their ex-spouse because they won't move on and let everyone live their lives.
As most of us are well aware of here on ST
I did not need a researcher
I did not need a researcher to tell me this..... kids are damaged in a marriage that's not loving and happy and it ends in a bitter divorce, Usually there's allot of conflict before it's final and allot of power play... using the child as a pawn....
This child does not only have loyalty issues but they have no idea what it is to be in a happy family and often they are jealous. If one of the parents re-marry or find another partner, the child is not the center of attention any more and then they start acting out, They already lost on parent, yes they do feel rejected, and not the other parent finds a new partner, double rejection.....
I wish all laws will make it compulsory for children who's parents are getting a divorce to be in therapy for at least 2 years to deal with it all, to understand that you are not being rejected you are being offered a better family life
^^ this ^^ BM and DH did not
BM and DH did not fight so much but it was cold. They were very much divided, she was having affairs and he was withdrawn and quietly angry about it. They just lived in the same house but they were not at all a couple. SD had taken to being the mini wife even before they split. BM allowed this so that she didn't have to interact with DH.
Horrible situation and it's no surprise that SD reacted badly to me coming along and displacing her role as mini wife. The jealousy was obvious and then all it took was for BM to light the blue touch paper and we have the toxic mess that it is today.
Yes, I could have told them its the fighting, the bad relationships, the quiet anger, the disrespect and resentment in a bad marriage that damages the kids. My parents never divorced and are still married today but my mother literally hates my father and I think at times he feels the same. It has been difficult growing up in that environment.
No shit Sherlock! This is so
No shit Sherlock! This is so true! BM is a lesbian. Shes always known this but wanted to have kids. So she sucked ex SO in nicely. Then, once kids were born..off she went..only to return to make his life living hell. Only SHE was allowed to move on and have a relationship. Shit hit sideways when, after 6 years, he tried having a relationship.
SD took over BMs role and made sure ex SOs life became one of pure misery. She used manipulation and emotional blackmail. He, of course, has blinkers on.
When I left him..the first thing he told my BS18, was that he was going to reconcile wkth her. Which, to me, means crawling up hers and BMs ass. He is spineless and utterly balless. He should never have entered a relationship with anyone else as he has no ide how to stand up for himself and demand respect.
I have 3 grown sons who respected him and treated him like I expected them to. BM never did..and boy..did we pay. Im out of it now..been 2 months, and I dont regret leaving him. At all.
Step moms, new partners are treated like pond scum. This article should be shown everywhere.
Edited to add: ex SO plans to reconcile with SD..even though she has called him a "cowardly useless c***" because he dared to have a relationship with another woman. He will now lay his balls at the feet of BM and SD and will be at their mercy for as long as they need him to be. Sooo attractive. Not.