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O/T: this mans punctual habits infuriate me

notagain2012's picture

And its so chronic, that when it happens, I think I just can't do this anymore!

He is either a really bad judge of time, or hell, o dunno. It never fails, that his times are off. He cannot commit to a 'ill ne there at 6' and actually be here. It's to the point that I don't even try to make plans. This is a daily thing. Not every once in awhile, but daily. For example, today.

He worked until 3:30 he called to say he was going to his house to pay his roommate rent, and getting some clothes and coming over. We even discussed going for dinner etc.

He mentioned that his roommate was working on some trees, and he was going to help him, should ne like 30, 45 mins. Ok.

And hour later, I text him and ask him how's it coming along. 30 min later, he answers back, just finished, and getting some clothes and leaving.

So, 20 mins later, I text to ask him to get me a pack of cigarettes otw. K.

It has now been and 2 and half hours, when he said this was going to take 30mins.

That was about 530 and now at nearly 6, he calls and ask me i thought about dinner. Seriously? He is just leaving his house. And it takes a good 45 min to get here.

So I have been waiting and planning on eating with him for , will be 3 hours by the time he actually gets here. I asked him ifbhe was just now leaving, and he says no, he left like 15 mins ago (which is when I texted him)

Seriously. Everytime we r supposed to see each other, its like this. He doesn't have a set work schedule, they finish when they finish. But ur can never commit to a Damn time. He always pulls this crap and I have said it annoys the hell out of me. He has done it, and then shows up 2 hours later saying he had to stop by the store (if his kid is with Jim, is usually to buy him something) bit doesn't mention to me. He is getting netters about keeping me posted, but something always comes up, he has to stop, or go here, or some bs.

Is it me? And would I be an ass to consider leaving him because I feel like we are complete opposites in this area? He can't plan, and so no, I can't, I have to be somewhere at such and such. He even does it when he picks up his kid. He doesn't give them a time, he just heads that way when he wants, and then let's them know when he is close.

Is it him being selfish, inconsiderate? Or are their just people who can't stay on track, and plans as far as times go. If it had been me, I would have said no, I can't help you, I told notagain I would be at her place such and such.

I feel like I have tried locking him into a time, and of course, he never makes it in time. It really makes me feel like I can't count on him at all. I cant even make plans, with anyone, because his ass won't be there in time, or something.

Maybe my expectations are too high, but I always feel like o keep getting put off for everything else, and then finally he decides to show up. If it were occasional, it wouldnt bother me so. And I try not to take it personal, since he seems to do it with everyone. Even work. They don't have be there at 9 thing, everyday its a on your way? Maybe meet about 10? Or 9, leaving now, see u shortly.

Is this just a freakin habit? Ugh. I'm starving . I knew I should have just went to eat earlier and not waited on him.

Comments

notagain2012's picture

That's pretty much it. I feel dismissed. And its hard to go off without him, when he and I are supposed to go have dinner. And it drives me insane. If there is something else, and he is just an go along, then I leave etc, but if its just him, and he's taking me out to dinner, then I usually go ahead and eat. And then he gets all pout, that I didn't wait.

I have told him this many many times. After 3 years, it has me considering the relationship, esp with all the kid issues. And it just sucks.

Thanks for the feedback, its hard to say, you know, I'm sick of waiting around on you, its over. I can't be with you because you aren't punctual enough. It's sounds trivial enough, but has really become a huge issue for me.

Lalena75's picture

That was my ex even the kids now say if he says he'll be a few minutes late to get them or whatever it's a min 3 hours. there were so many times it was an emergency and I was without the car or I needed him and he'd "be there in a few" preterm labor "be there in a few" baby lethargic and won't eat "be there in a few" water is leaking all over the bathroom and I can't get it shut off "be there in a few"
Mind you we were married at the time poor broke ass people, my dad saved my ass instead of my now ex who'd show up long after it was handled or I was already leaving the ER or being admitted. It infuriated me. now it infuriates our kids. They've started telling if he's gonna be a "few minutes" I will drop them off or they will stay here till the following morning.

Gabriels Mom's picture

That's very disrespectful. I dated a guy(Briefly) that did that to me. I can't stand that. A few mins late I can deal with but hours late oh hell no. Next time you make plans tell him you need to leave at X time, if he's not there you will leave without him and then follow through. That's what I did. He wanted to go out but I was already going out with a few friends I had told him numerous times if you want to make plans with me you need to ask me at least a few days in advance. I was always busy and going out. So he asked if he could come too, I said yes. I told him we were meeting at Chili's at 6pm Did he want to meet us there or come with me. He said he'd meet us there. Well by 645 he still wasn't there...I called him he said he had just left work he'd be there in 20 mins. By 815 I was done. I told texted him and told him we were going ahead to the movie. If he wanted to join us fine and gave him the name and address of the theater. He didn't make it. He texted and called me all through the movie. I could feel my phone buzzing. When we finally came out he called and wanted me to drive all the way to his house which was 40 mins out of my way. I went home and broke up with him the next day.

notagain2012's picture

Man I should have done that 3 years ago.

It's just one thing after another with him...and I have just about had my fill. Smile