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Any smoms married to total dipshits?

Nope's picture

My husband has 2 kids who live here half the week with the rest of our family. He needs lots of help finding things to do with them. So a couple of Fathers Days ago I got him a fancy set of Star Wars movies for them to watch together. It took him more than a year and some reminders from me to even open the DVD set. Finally, they have started watching them.

Please note I make it sound like I actually give a shit whether or not they watch them, but my annoyance is more related to the way my husband makes people feel SUPER special when they give him a gift. They usually go unopened and/or unused, and he gives this really fake thank you that shows he doesn't give a single crap that you thought of him. Our coat closet currently has unopened packages from last Christmas and his birthday before that. I got him a fancy chrome plated shaving kit it took him months to open and he only did that because he was nagged.

Anyway, he has ADHD. So there's a "reason" for some of his appalling rudeness. But it's still annoying.

This morning I woke up 2 hours earlier than normal because my husband had taken it on himself to WAKE HIS KIDS UP BEFORE SIX AM (we have a house rule, no kids up before 8 on weekends) to watch one of the Star Wars movies. They had whined yesterday about wanting to finish one of them and he tried to do it during "grownup time" (after bedtime last night) and I had called bullshit on that. So he broke our house rule and had them up before six in the room outside my bedroom because he is stupid enough to think that they wouldn't get caught.

On Sundays, I have to work until midnight. So this will be a nice long day for me. All because my idiot husband is stupid enough to rationalize sneaking around to please his tiny masters. When I asked him why didn't he just watch it during the 3 year old's nap today, he said "Well I wasn't sure what else I'd want to do then."

Please god let me find a way out of this marriage. Seriously.

Comments

ChiefGrownup's picture

My sd was super rude about presents given to her. So after the third occasion, I stopped giving them. Her dad mostly has, too. She knows why.

I believe this would be appropriate for spouses, too.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Also, meant to say, it does sound like your marriage is not in a good place. What is stopping you from leaving?

Nope's picture

He's got adhd and can't remember to take care of kids properly. But he's also got an ivy league law degree & WILL fight me for custody just so he has his fair share. so I am staying to keep my kid safe.

oneoffour's picture

Sorry, no pass on ADHD. He can get a law degree but not remember to watch a movie after 8am? My DH has ADHD but can remember trash day and the names of our grandchildren ASND my birthday not to mention other important facts. So your DH is an arse. Just an arse with a law degree.

As for the gifts, he wouldn't get ANYTHING again. Or buy something for you and tell him it is for him. KitchenAid mixer? For him. Spa day for him? You use it.

Nope's picture

HAHAHAH!!!!! This is brilliant. It's kind of what I've been doing actually. That's validating. Thank you.

Last In Line's picture

Forget the gifts. Have a yard sale with the ones that are stashed all over the place. Next gift-giving type occasion, just take him out for a meal. Send out a "holiday letter" this year and request all your family/friends to make a donation to charity instead of getting gifts for y'all because you are so blessed that you don't want for things.

As far as the waking up early thing--I would be a complete bitch every single time that type of thing happens. Blame it on lack of sleep. He can be conditioned to behave better.

Nope's picture

Working on the conditioning........ it's like training a very dumb animal sometimes. His default seems to be "disappointing" and I don't know why. It's almost like he NEEDS to disappoint to fulfill some kind of pre-arranged destiny. I think it must have to do with his mother.