I recently turned 40 and have 2 stepkids ages 13 and 8. I am at the end of my rope. They say there is no such thing as a bad kid, but for the last 7 years my stepkids have tried to prove that statement wrong. It all statred when my stepson whi is now 13 was 8. He was a hyper kid who demanded alot of attention. My wife had been in an abusive marriage prior. My stepson was wild, hype, and out of control. In the beginning I thought he was just being a kid. He wanted someone to care about and love him and wanted attention. I soon found out that he did want these things, just on his terms. After months of this behavior my wife told me that if it was becoming a problem I need to discipline him. That was the biggest mistake I made. It all went downhill fromthere. That was6 years ago. my stepson ow throw a fit on a regular basis and reverts back to 2 years old whn I get on him to do his chroes, or do his chores correctly. He is disrespctful, lazy, mouthy, steals, lies, and a slob. My stepdaughter is a little diva, and not in a good way. She is now 8 and whenever she gets in trouble begins to cry and flash the puppy dog eyes. This works with my wife. I am always the bad guy. I have tired to let things go, but I work hard and when I get home I expect the kids to clean up their messes and do their chores. Teeth pulling is necessary to get this accomplished most of the time. I have give the kids chores, yes, chroes. I know they are kids. I was raised by my mom to respect what she said and do what she said. Little did I realize this was preparing me for life at the time. I did hate her in my mind a few times, but I would have never thought of calling my mom a " douchebag " or telling her I " hated her ans wished she were dead. ". I hear these on a consistent basis. Of couse I hear them from my wife also so the kids get it from her. Now today I get up and the following chroes should have been done last night-

1) TAKE OUT TRASH
2) CLEAN UP KITCHEN
3) CLEAN LITTER BOX
4) CLEAN DINING ROOM TABLE AFTER DINNER
5) SWEEP HARDWOOD FLOORS
6) FEED AND WATER CATS

None were completed. We own a dishwasher that was piled and overloaded so bad because stepson threw it in to concesl it. Trash can overflowing onto floor as usual. Litter box in upstairs bathroom can besmelt downstairs, we have 2 cats. Table covered with food and greasy fingerprints. Food on floor not picked up. Cats pacing and meowing due to hunger, cat bowls empty. If I do it myself my wife gets on me and tells me" make the kids do it" So I call my kids downstairs and proceed to firmly tell them to do their chores and let them know I am upset. Wife then asks why the day has to start this way. Note to self- just keep you mouth shut for now on the kids are slobs. My stepson stsarts crying and goes into a acadamy award winning performance of my sister never helps and nobody cares or loves me I hate my life. All becuase he has not taken his medication this morning. I calmy tell him to go to his room, he starts yelling I hate it here. I then am informed by my wife my step daughter is also to blame and she is tormenting the 6" tall 13 year old on a regular basis. LOL. By the way, my wife alowws it to happen while I spend my 10-14 hours at work daily. Then when she cannot handle it I am called in as the calvary to set things straight. Then I am the bad guys again in the eys of my WIfe and stepkids. So today I am at mthe end of my rope. I have had the following happen in the last several years-
1) House attempted to be lit on fire, SS lied about and was committed for psych exam.
2) money and personal belongings stolen from house, found in SS room. He denies.
3) SS has hit mon in public and threatened to kill her in her sleep.
4) Bike stolen from school, SS stole it and ditched got caught. SS denied it.
5) SS ran away, had to be apprehended by police. He call the officer a " PIG " to his face. He was 12.
6) SS drew with black marker on neighbors brand new Chrysler 3000. Had other kids stand and watch him as he bragged. SS denied when police showed up.
7)Wife was cleanng up SS's and found porn magazines and videos given to him by another child whose mother said it was okay if wife allowed it. My wife does not allow it at all.

So the above are a few example of what has happened , and I could go on for hours if I wanted to. Today I lost it and am the bad guys because I expect my stepkids to follow the rules and do their chores. So I will be moving out at the end of the month and leaving my wife due to this ongoing problem of 6 years. Because remember there are no bad kids. Only bad parents, of which I have been labeled by my wife and stepkids. Amazing that the 2 times we have seperated over issues she has had worse problems from the kids that when we have been together and she calls in the calvary, me.