First off, I'm sorry that this will probably be incredibly long and I really have no idea what I'm looking for out of it.

I have never been married, but really want kids. SO and I have been together for over a year, but do not live together. When we met he had been legally separated from BM for 3 years and told me what she told him, "She would be signing the papers by the end of summer." I'm a smart woman, yet I was new to BM and I believed this as well.

I know, I know. I am totally against dating married men. Honestly, pretty passionate about it (my dad cheated on my mother when i was really young), even more so after my current predicament. I honestly thought just the signing was left. 6 months later...when I'm more involved then any other relationship I've ever been in, I realize that BM is yanking his chain. She doesn't want to be divorced. I hear him asking her every week (sometimes eavesdropping) about the status. There is always an excuse. I start wondering when he's going to take his balls back and do something himself...Or does he really not want to get married again...

After several fights in the 3 months after that light bulb goes off, I stop saying anything about it. Don't want to hear about it. I'm literally to the point where I am ready to quit, because obviously either 1. He is really, really stupid to still believe that BM is going to sign or 2. He really doesn't want to get married again.

Stubbornness sometimes works against you...

He shows up with the paperwork from the court. Turns out he filed for divorce himself 4 years ago, but never finished the paperwork. He's now finished the paperwork and sent it to her attorney. I've lost so much respect for this man, but within the last three months he had made some significant changes in raising his daughter and I wonder if I can forgive him for believing BM's BS for so long. Afterall, he was married to her, he should have been aware of it. I, stubbornly, decide that I will see if I can forgive and let him earn back respect.

He follows up on the paperwork every 30 days. He tells me afterwards, because let me tell you. If he said, I need to go to the court this week, my response would have been, "yeah right." Smart, that helps.

He's now to the point where he gave her lawyer 10 days to setup a meeting between the two. They had parent/teacher conferences earlier in the week for SD12. Afterwards, he tells her that he's sent her lawyer all the paperwork and he's past his 10 days for setting up an appointment. She goes postal.

"Well you know it's just not going to turn out the way you want."
"What do you mean I won't be on insurance? Don't you care about taking care of me?!"
Blah, blah, blah
He tells her that he is done waiting for her to do anything she says. That he wants to move forward with me, he wants to marry me.
Her immediate reply is "well I'm going to marry BF too!"
SO: That's great! I hope you guys will be happy together.

BM storms off.

So....I'm betting the worse is yet to come. I'm betting they will have to go to court and I'm wondering how long it will actually take.

And I'm telling all my friends that no matter what, unless he can show you divorce papers...RUN!

I love SO, I do. We have our problems, like any couple. He used to be a disengaged dad, but better now. Not as engaged as I would like, but I think that comes back to upbringing. His daughter is not as bratty/bitchy/jealous as she was 3 months ago. When he started engaging more and I engaged less. I feel that I have helped improve her life and I really hope that's true.

Heaven help me though...I really don't think I can put my dreams on hold if BM drags this out for years. As a BM suffering from GUS, I can see her doing exactly that. Sometimes it sucks to be educated in golden uterus syndrome, at least in this particular predicament.