Huge Red Flad - advice would be great.
So, I haven't been on the site much lately, since things have been going well. It's starting to look like SO is digging his head out of his ass, I'm holding my breath to see if it lasts longer then a month. So far so good...right?
Until this weekend, I have a random dream that is so real I ask SO the next day if it had happened. I had a dream that BM's BF called and talked to SD12 in the middle of the night. He says no, but he'll ask her. I tell him it's no big deal, had to be a dream. Well...turns out it must have been a creepy feeling or something. Turns out that BM's BF (so named boy toy) has been texting SD12 every day. (Side note: SD turns 13 this month) The texts are like this, "Hope you have a great day! I really miss you, baby girl!" "I've missed you so much this week, especially on Thursday." (Thursday is a night that BM works late and SD is alone with Boy Toy.) More along those lines, along with telling her that he's going to start treating her more like an adult.
WHAT?! SO takes pics of the evidence, recommends SD tells her mom about it. SD doesn't want to get Boy Toy in trouble. SO has the talk with SD about men doing things that make her uncomfortable, etc. My question is, what else can be done?! The guy is not a registered sex offender, but he's starting to sound very creepy.
Opinions? Thoughts? Advice? Advice for SO?
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Comments
Always trust your
Always trust your subconscious.
She's being groomed for
She's being groomed for sexual abuse.
BM needs to drop him fast, if
BM needs to drop him fast, if some guy was doing that to my daughter he would be gone. Babygirl ???? Yuck, definitely email and call BM and let police know. I would be sure DH has a talk with this guy face to face and lets him know. Im hoping the SD isn't crushing on this guy. He's up to something, yuck yuck yuck. I would flip my shit.
in addition to 1st police,
in addition to 1st police, 2nd bm, i'd also think good and hard about using one of those parenting control thingamajiggers. happy cow had recommended teensafe.com.
this dude's a real creep. that's gross. but you didnt share with us sd's feelings on it or her responses to his txts. does she say "ew" but still act kinda flattered from the attention? (that'd be more evident in her responses probably) just another angle to think from. she's young and hormonal, and using something like teensafe could protect her from herself.
not sure what the custody arrangement is, but if i was your dh, i'd also try everything in my power to get sd on thursdays away from boy toy. she does NOT need to be alone with him.
You're mother is a piece of
You're mother is a piece of shit. I'm sorry. I do not know how you still have a relationship with her. I'm so sorry for what you went through sweetie. I'm so so sorry.
(((HUGS)))
(((HUGS)))
**hugs** me too.
**hugs** me too.
Hopefully he has not done
Hopefully he has not done anything YET. But he is grooming her at the very least. You need to contact CPS or the police immediately and have this looked at. Take it from me - I was sexually abused by my stepfather for many many years (from age 12 to 15) while my mother looked the other way. It really does happen. (I didn't find out until WAY later that she knew it was going on).
Please please please take
Please please please take some kind of action immediately - even if it just takes your SO to tell him to back the F off.
PLEASE do something! I feel
PLEASE do something! I feel that he is grooming her.
What he is saying is plain creepy no matter what her age is. And if he wasnt a creep himself he would know that.
Any normal opposite sex would be cautious about what they say and how they act around a child/teenager.
Yes, my eyes almost fell out
Yes, my eyes almost fell out of my head when I read what his texts were saying to her. RED FLAG!!! He is creeping.
This is good advice! Sueu2
This is good advice! Sueu2 is correct, the BM will try to protect her BF and she will deny it.