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Oh the famous Christmas list!!!

Newstep's picture

Well its already starting with SD12 and the Christmas list. Last year she had some expensive items on her list that she didn't get. So this year she expects double time in regards to Christmas gifts. Not the way I am used to doing things at all. My kids always had three Christmases me, their Dad and their SM's mom always bought them nice gifts. We always coordinated a little so there were no duplicates but all told I have always spent around 200 per kid. Total with stocking stuffers and all. I think that is a good amount. As they got older it still worked well.

Now SD has many items on her list that are 200.00 and abover per item. She expects everything on the list. I could see if that was the norm with Bm and my BF when they were still married. But according to him it was not. He said BM always spent more money than they had and spoiled the kids but not this bad. I think she expects me to buy her loads of gifts.

Last year I bought her one gift and BF bought her some things but nothing too crazy. This year her list includes new cell phone, Ugg boots, laptop or Ipad and tons of smaller items. Just blows my mind that she thinks that this is even in the realm of possibility for us to spend that much money. Oh and she let me know that she hadn't even got to the toy portion of her list. She is going on 13 in January so I thought she was getting a little too old for toys. But I guess not!!

Oh and this gets repeated in January for her birthday. I gave her a budget of 100.00 last year for her birthday. She was all put off saying she usually gets way more than that to spend :jawdrop: I didn't want to buy her anything after that!!

Comments

purpledaisies's picture

My kids normally have one big item that they ask for and that is it. They know that we can't afford much. Now I do ask for a list of about 3 items but they know they will only get one item on that list and some smaller things. I normally spend about 200 as well. Now we don't spend as much on the skids b/c they are only here every other weekend and only use that stuff that amount of time so no need to spend a whole lot on them. They get that and have had no problems with it, however I also don't flaunt it in their faces either. When they are with their mom opening her gifts my kids open their gifts from me their mom so win win.

I don;t understand why these kids seem to think that they should get anything at all let alone a HUGE list of EXPENSIVE things. :sick:

DLDP's picture

I'm evil. }:) I'd purposely give less than she is demanding. I don't respond well to demands.

Lauren1438's picture

what ever happened to small stuff like nail polish, eye shadow, a purse? I dont understand this give me attitude. My parents usually gave me a big gift but I never put anything about $30 on my Christmas list and the big gift that I got was NEVER asked for or hinted at my mom and dad just did it. I dont understand, Christmas isnt about open gifts and run it is about spending time with family (or if religious its about that too). I feel bad for my Future step kids, if I ever get a list like that when they get older they better hope that they get anything and future DH hates to shop so I know he will be giving me the money to do it.

the_stepmonster's picture

The older SD's want an iPad for Christmas. Each. I had to catch myself from laughing out loud in their faces. Luckily DH is very *ahem* frugal so that won't be happening any time soon. He is the worst budgeter though. He budgeted $75 each for them for Christmas knowing full well nothing on their list is less than $150. I wouldn't mind only spending $75 each on them, but I would much rather have a realistic budget to work with.

Elizabeth's picture

Can your husband talk to my husband? I budgeted 125 for SD last year and Dh said it wasn't enough. But it was a fine amount for our two BDs, in his opinion. I'm still cringing about what he will say when I tell him I want to drop SD18's amount to 100 this year.

purpledaisies's picture

I don;t understand why they seem to think that only one of their kids should get more then the others?? :? Always amazed when I hear this???

i would ask him why he feels that one of his kids should get more then the others. I would also tell him that if he feels that way then he can take his money and do it as I will not be the one to show OUR kids that only one is more important of their own sibs.

Elizabeth's picture

Been there, done that. There is no logic or reason when it comes to DH with regard to SD18.

Asked him why one should get more than the others. Answer: SD is bigger and therefore her needs (read wants) are bigger. In other words, SD18 wants an iphone (grandma bought her one), a laptop (she has her own PC but is too lazy to walk to the basement), Chi hair straightener (got it), ipad (not yet that I know of), etc.

DH is glad to spend his own money on SD18. Problem is, "his" money comes directly out of our account, so it amounts to the same thing. You have no idea how many hundreds of his own money has been spent on SD18, and not a penny on our two BDs. So still in no way "fair."

the_stepmonster's picture

No problem. Or you could just set your husband's stereo to Dave Ramsey. Mine is OBSESSED with him. I'm all about saving and being debt-free blah blah blah, but DH thinks Dave Ramsey is second coming of Jesus or something. It's actually really annoying, but I guess it's the lesser of two evils. Also, I do the majority of the Christmas shopping so last year when the SD's wanted iTouches, I bought refurbished ones for like half the price. They look like new and are rewrapped so the SD's were none the wiser. I think you should try the same move with your DH. I've found that most don't really know what stuff costs in the first place.

dragonfly5's picture

Crazo spends about $1,000.00 on each kid a year. Yes, that right a grand. Myfsd was the only 9yrs old I knew that had a $450.00 phone and no one to call.

We buy a family gift for the skids because Crazo goes overboard on everything.

We have done a trampoline, basketball goal, ping pong table, and scooters.

This year we are talking about a trip.

Why do so many of these BM's think they can buy their kids? The skids love the gift we get them because we do it with them. We have fun family time.

Drama, Drama, Drama!

Auteur's picture

I remember VD's request for a flat screen TV in "her room" for EASTER!! Yes EASTER!! Not Xmas, not b-day!! This was when she was not yet 10 (four years ago) and the year that she turned us in with the help of the Behemoth to CPS for having them empty waste paper baskets and pick up twigs!!!

Newstep's picture

Geez ! Easter LOL SD did mention that she would take the phone as her Thanksgiving present!!! I rolled my eyes and BF laughed and said Yeah Right!! Entitlement these days is insane...

dragonfly5's picture

My skids both got 42" flat screens in their room 3yrs ago at the ages of 9 and 11. Just because Crazo felt like it....

Really, she is creating monsters for herself and she is too stupid to see it!

Newstep's picture

Good one!! She knows her Mom won't buy her anything she has more important things to spend her money on. Beer and cigarettes topping the list }:)

Shaman29's picture

DH is responsible for buying his kid gifts for any occasion. Last Christmas he said no gifts between the two of us, then turned around and spent about $500 on his kid. Really DH, you're going to be a cheapskate with me but spoil your kid? Nice.

When I disengaged, I stopped spending MY money on DH's kid. I do not buy her gifts for birthday's or Christmas. If we happen to be somewhere and she wants something, I send her straight to her father.

Not my kid, not my problem. Smile

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

LOL.. All my skids (the 3 boys) asked for the same exact items: The brand new I Phone, IPad's (and definitely NOT the generic kind..yes, they wrote that down!!!), IPod Touch and DSI system with atleast 5 games each (and yes, they wrote that down too!!!!) We told them to come down to earth!!! lol

Now my DD7.. God I love her (and raising her right).. the most expensive item she asked for was $30 or less (thnk I got it for $25)...

We got the boys bikes and some nerf guns and stuff...a nice Christmas no doubt...but they wont be happy! Last yr I ran myself ragged and they all complained the next day that it wasnt enough!!! So, I told DH I was NOT gonna do that this year...and I didnt!

When I was a kid, I got maybe 4 or 5 things, tops.. now its sooooo ridiculous huh..

Jsmom's picture

I buy nothing for SD and one gift or two for SS. Budget around $100. But this year, even less we are taking the kids we like on a cruise over Christmas. My BS is upset that we are not getting much. But, he always gets big gifts from Aunts and Uncles so he will be fine. SS could care less.

starfish's picture

i think ags (skids) will get $50 - $75 each for christmas..... either gift card or cash, you know giving it the real personal touch w/love! }:-)

hismineandours's picture

We have budgeted abot 300.00 a piece for my 3 kids. This is their only home and for all intents and purposes they only have one set of grandparents so all in all I feel like it is a comfortable amount for us. I have budgeted 0 for my ss. He does not visit, nor call-when my dh calls him on occassion they talk for about 5 minutes. My dh only sees him if mil is giving dh a ride somewhere and happens to have ss along. I figure mil can get him gifts.

He's not been nearly as entitled as some others on here so I am thankful for that. Although I am expecting a phone call initiaed by him about 2 weeks before xmas and some talk about him wanting to visit (translation-I want to come by and pick up gifts). I know the first year he moved in with bm, while my dh was in Iraq, he called me (he NEVER called like the whole year) but called a few weeks before his bday to let me know that it was almost his bday AND that he guessed he'd just pick up his bday check from MY aunt at his mil's hosue next time he visited. I was like, "um, why would you think she is going to send you a check? You should never assume you are getting a gift or expect one" and his response, "Well,she will send it there, right?"-I was like, "No, of course not she doesnt even KNOW mil-why on earth would she send YOU money there?". He pretty much hung up on me after that.

Sweetnothings's picture

I'm disengaged.....so no present buying etc from me !! I do still play the present game though..... you know think about how much I MAY have spent on sd21 if she had been even 1 % normal or bearable or human OR treated my DH with an oz of respect in the last 7 years...... Then OFF I go and spend ALL that on me !!

The skids have had like 3 Christmases every year for like 16 years or so ( BM, with DH, and then DH's parents ) so they have done alright for presents, etc!!

I cannot believe some of the stuff being asked for...... And even more shocked to see that in most cases it WILL be given to the skids!! Expensive, big things like that would have to be given for like Christmas AND Birthday AND shared !!! Not that I ever would have bought that stuff for them or ever will now !!

Hell, DH and I don't buy ourselves gifts....we kind of spoil ourselves through the year, spread it out !! Rather than a one day overdose on the 25th Dec !!

twopines's picture

Oh gawd the dreaded Christmas list! I stopped being involved with giving gifts to the skids a few years ago, but it still irritates me when DH gets the list. I'm not sure why SD26 still sends one, since all DH does now is send a check for I think $25 or $50. She's not the brightest bulb in the box I suppose.

defeatedsm's picture

We are budgeting $20 for DH, me, and each of our kids so that DH can spend more on the skids.

ms.blessed.n.distressed's picture

Wow... Um DH and I go xmas shopping together but I am the one who picks out everything. Even tho SS11 gets many xmas' and way more presents than my kids, I am always fair. Same amount on each kid. I am always fair/ even/ way outgoig to make sure SS feels treated equal to our DDs. We normally spend wayyy too much on all of the kids. I'm not even going to say the amount. Lol. We also provide family members with tons of gifts and eachother. We go way out on holidays. DH and I were raised pretty poor and never had the kind of Christmas that we hive our kids. I'm a really good shopper and I make sure they all get tons n tons of stuff to open. SS is a spoiled ungrateful brat. My DD3 is the most loving, kind, caring, giving little girl in the world. She understands and wants to help anyone who she knows is going without. This year is going to be wayyy different. This year the kids are taking half of everything they get and we are going to go donate it. They r not allowed to open the gifts before hand. We are also going to go do community service together for the holidays. Just bc my kids are spoiled doesn't mean I want them to be ungrateful. I want them to understand and appreciate where DH and I came from and that we have worked very hard to get where we are today. I love providing a life style for my kids but at the same time my kids will not think everythings going to be handed to them on a silver platter. I feel there is nothing wrong with spoiling your child and providing a good life style for them AS LONG as you are willing to put in the effort and teach them the value of a dollar, to be thankful, to never live outside of their means and that life is not about money. It is nice to have money and nice things but the true meaning of life is about love, kindness and finding your purpose in life and helping out others out of the kindness of your heart, and to never expect anything in return.

NCMilGal's picture

We got the "Christmas email" two nights ago!

It's funny, BM only gives us the high-dollar items that SD15 wants. This year it was an iPod Touch (what is that, $200+ for the GBs she wanted?) and a Kindle Fire ($200). DH replied with, "1) she doesn't want a Kindle Fire, she wants a plain Kindle,(ed note: $79) quit projecting your greed on her, and 2) why should we bother when you take everything away anyway?"

In previous years when we've fallen for it, we find that BM spends ~$50 on SD15, and ~$300 on her little brother. We're subsidizing BM, that's what we're doing.

We quit. No BM-dictated expensive gifts. Last year, we decided to get her an expensive summer camp that she LOVED. SD15 appreciates what we give her (peace and quiet and affection) much more than any toy anyway.

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