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DH burned BM's biscuits!

nengooseus's picture

BM is a real piece of work. She's just impossible to deal with, will not compromise on anything, a classical malignant narcissist.

SS6 is her golden boy. In her eyes, he's perfect, in spite of several developmental delays that are untreated (speech, fine motor). She's heavily engaged in parental alienation, to the point that the boy refuses to visit DH at all. Truth be told, I believe he believes that he's doing what BM wants when he rejects visitation with DH.

Anyway, tonight we were out on date night when we got a text that she was headed to the ER with SS because he swallowed a penny. Clearly a rocket scientist, right? DH is a good guy, so he not only offered to pickup SD10 so that she could go (which she rejected), but we showed up at the hospital! She was so pissed she could barely contain herself. You could see the steam coming out of her ears!

It was priceless. And it taught DH that he doesn't have to roll over every time. He just needs to choose the right moments, and he can not only piss her off, but also feel better in control of an on-going awful situation in doing it. YAY!

Comments

notsurehowtodeal's picture

How does a 6 year old refuse visitation? DH shows up where the exchange is to take place and puts the kids in the car. If BM refuses, he files contempt charges. Your right, the child probably is doing what makes BM happy. That is why DH needs to make the decision for him and insist that he come for visitation.

How does the CO read in regards to medical? Do both parents have to agree? If not, DH should just take him in for an evaluation. If they have to agree and she won't - he might consider going back to court. There is no sense having those kinds of delays go untreated.

I just saw where you were going to take him for an evaluation several months ago - what were the results?

nengooseus's picture

He refuses by literally not moving from his spot. Sometimes he actively hides. When DH tries to talk with him (he picks up from the babysitter), he says he doesn't want to go. Sure, he could force him, but he can't manage him when he's here. He won't follow our rules, sulks, and demands to return to BM's. BM has made clear yo the boy that there are no consequences for not coming... Min fact, she rewards him.

We did try to have him evaluated. At this age, according to the doctor, evaluations are largely based on parental observation. Our perspective s very different from hers, and at an appointment, the doctor can't determine who's right or wrong. So we got an inconclusive result, other than ruling out ADHD.

DH has requested family therapy since July. She put it off for awhile and then has refused to agree to any therapists DH suggested. He could go back to court, but honestly, as much as he'd like to have a meaningful relationship with his son, he's not willing to take the additional level of conflict. We spent literally all last year in court for very little return, and he's tired.

notarelative's picture

He's six. Is he in school? Speech and fine motor can be tested by the school district. The evaluations will be based on what they see in school.

If he has joint legal he can request it. Sure, BM can then refuse, but she'll be on record as doing so.

Disneyfan's picture

A grown man can't manage a 6 year old kid????

No matter how awful mom may be, dad has taught the kid that he is free to call the shots. The kid has also learned that his dad is weak. The boy is 6 and has the power/authority that his father should have.

Dad's inability or refusal to parent can't be blamed on mom.

Dad can have the school handle the testing. If the kid needs speech therapy, he can receive it at school for free. A simpld visit to the school to request tbe services will get the ball rolling. He doesn't need mom's input or permission. If mom tries to stop the testing, the school and/or dad can file educational neglect charges with CPS.

Disneyfan's picture

He's allowing a 6 year old to decide if he visits. CRAZY
When the brat is there, dad can't manage him. NUTS He is not parenting his child. You can't blame mom for dad not taking control.

Dad can get the school to help him with this. If a teacher is seeing all of the things the OP sees, dad can simply make a request for testing. You get around the court order(if it even speaks to this)by presenting it as the teacher and the school's student support team believe the child needs help. Dad can just agree to support them in their decision. If mom decides to act like an ass and block the school's effort to help the kid, that opens the door for dad and/or the school to file educational neglect charges with CPS against her. They will force mom to back off.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

The only thing the ER is going to do over a swallowed penny is tell you to take the kid home because he's just going to shit it out?

hereiam's picture

Right? The ER has more important things to worry about than a one cent shit.

People that cannot distinguish between an emergency and a non-emergency really irritate me.

People that use either as some kind of power play with the ex, REALLY irritate me.

She texted him. She was mad that he showed. She would have used it against him had he NOT showed. I am very familiar with these no win situations created by bitch BMs.