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bio Mom problems

ML579's picture

I am new to this site. I have a great guy that I have been with for over 2 years. He has a 9 year old son. He gets his son the typical every other weekend and one over night a week. The rest of the time my guy stays with me at my house with my two older kids. We have a great relationship. Sometimes I stay with him at his house when he has his son. The problem is the bio Mom. She divorced him a year before we got together but she is fixated on hating me. The son is confused because he has fun with his Dad and I but tells his Mom he doesnt like me becasue he thinks that will make her happy. It took him a long time to warm up to me becasue of his Mom. She constanly grills him about his time when I am around. We have tried counseling but when his Dad only gets him few times a month its just not enough and his Mom has told him he doesnt need counseling becasue she likes him the way he is. His Dad has gone to court for more time but denied, he is the far better parent but courts are reluctant to take time away from the Mom even if she is not doing the best for the child. I get my feelings hurt when I try so hard to be nice to the son and show him a good time and he seems to enjoy it but then goes back to his Mom and trashes me. I know the child is messed up by his Mom but how do I deal with this difficult situation? Thanks for any advice! ML579

Comments

wifey's picture

I went through the same similar situation. As hard as it is, if you have a good relationship with the dad otherwise, you just need to maintain a good relationship with the boy. We tried to go for half custody too and our courts did not see it our way either. I went as far as trying to talk to the mother myself countless times. The last time we invited her to our home to talk about issues. I can only tell you that you have to love yourself, then your man, then the kids all the same. She will only be able to brainwash him for so long. Bio mom is just insecure therefore any negative on you makes her feel better. She must feel threatened by you in some way. You can always kill her with kindness- that always works. Good luck to you,,,