BF, my hero
Yesterday, we got back from Cali and I went straight to work. We left Cali at 3:30 in the morning. He drove the entire way so I could sleep. That was very nice.
After work, I had to wait for him to pick me up and the cowboys were playing so I knew that it would take a bit longer then usual. I had a glass of wine, and then another at my work.
He showed up and we had a quick bite to eat.
We went home and I started doing my normal stuff, cleaning up. He watched the cowboys game. BM picked up the kids in the afternoon that day. Suddenly I see a car outside and I hear the kids shouting. It was not even seven oclock. They come running in and tell us their mom got them a salad "to share" from papa murphys. They both sit on both sides of me. Pretty soon I can feel my blood start to boil as I have to listen to them slurping the salads and chewing with their mouths open. I turn the tv way up so I don't have to listen to it, but BF tells me its too loud.
Oh yeah, we went and got dinner for us and some more wine (bad idea). BF does not drink, and I quit drinking for a year but recently started back up. I should stop. By the time the kids got home I had had almost a bottle by myself. So the kids are fighting, and doing what the kids always do.
SD14 is looking for her sweatband. BF asks them why they are home so early and they say that BM was too tired, that she was going to bed when she got home. So hours later, SD14 cannot find the sweatband and she texted BM who says if we give her the money she will come get her and take her to get another one.
I found out, and I said NO. BF was just reaching into his wallet. I said if she wanted to take SD14 and buy it for her then that was fine. BF and I went into the room and had it out.
I was so pissed that she gets to be the good supermom, she took them all the panda express for lunch (their favorite place that I actually hate), so she gets to be the good supermom and we get to nag them about cleaning up after themselves, and doing their homework, and everything that comes along with the kids living here.
I told BF that this has been going on for three years now, that he is letting this ruin our relationship. We yelled... well, I YELLED. I said he never stands up for us, is he going to let her ruin what we have? Of course, he blamed my drinking. I said, its not my drinking, its only when I am drinking that I say the things I'm actually thinking. He said he is always standing up for us, just not when I am there.
I asked him if the shoe were on the other foot what would he like for us to do? He said if they were my kids and my ex, he would not want the other guy to see the kids at all. I said, I agree, unless she can start giving us times that she is going ot have the kids and drop them off then she will not be allowed to see them anymore. It is not hard to send a simple text message.
So he gets on the phone and fights with her. He told her she gets to play supermom and we get to be the bad guys all the time (which I really did not want him to tell her, but oh well) I backed off and let him speak for himself. She started screaming that if we are fighting that he should not take it out on him. He said YOU ARE THE ONLY REASON WE ARE FIGHTING. He layed down the law. He told her that if she cannot follow the simple rules that she agreed to that she will no longer be able to see the kids. Then she will have to take him back to court in order to see them.
I gave BF the biggest hug and kiss when he got off the phone. He talked to her for a good half an hour. He explained everything to her. She said that she is so broke that she has no money. She said that SD17 has to pay for everything for her, which BF said thats even worse!
In Cali, SD17 told BFs mom that she was getting her wisdom teeth taken out at the end of the month. Just another bill for US to pay. She also said that BM promised her a laptop for her graduation, and that BM is going to pay for half of the bills for her wisdom teeth. (yeah right)
We went to the mall in Cali. SD17 bought a whole bunch of suckers from Sees candy. On the way home she called her mom and said that bought her mom, her moms boyfriend, and her moms boyfriend kid a sucker, along with SS11 and SD14. What pisses me off is that yet again, we get nothing. We paid for everything on the trip (even though it was short) it still adds up. We bought SD17 (who lives with BM) a skirt for the funeral (I guess she saw how hot I looked and got jealous in her jeans ) To SD17 and BM we are just a paycheck. We are just someone to pay the medical bills. We are just babysitter. I told BF all of this when we were fighting. Obviously she does not give a damn about us, she did not get us anything for our birthdays. I know that I am talking about gifts, but she only gets a hold of us when she needs something.
I don't want to do anything for this girl anymore. She also told us that on Christmas eve she is going to stay the night at our house, because at BMs house it is "all about the kids" Awww... poor baby does not get all the attention. I wanted to tell her that she is not "on the lease" so she cannot spend the night.. sorry. Of course I just kept my mouth shut.
Anyway, so all in all, BF actually stood up for us, wether or not it actually helps time will only tell. But even if it does not do that much good, its good to hear she is still on our side. Its great to hear him actually say the things to her instead of me just always saying them to him. And this morning I got a text message from her, "I have wed. off. I would like to have my kids from after school til 8:45 to 9. Would htat be possible? If my schedule changes I will let you know"
I love how she uses the MY KIDS, instead of just the kids.