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Sometimes I cheat on FDH with FSD3

Miss Know It All's picture

I've had numerous parents tell me that "It's all about Mom" when children are young, but that doesn't take the sting out of it for FDH when FSD3 screams that she wants Miss Know It All instead of him. It doesn't make him feel any better when she clings to me and talks to me non-stop when I show up to see him. And it also seems to rankle him especially bad this weekend, Mother's Day weekend, when he has to take FSD3 to her own mother and she clings to MY leg, insisting that I come with them (I am forbidden -- the ex isn't inclined to meet me and following advice I got from Steptalkers, I've lost the desire to meet her).

The fact that FSD3 is in "Mom-mode" makes things tough between me and FDH not just because he's jealous of her affection for me, but also, I think, he might be jealous of mine for her. He put on a movie in the living room to watch for himself. I, having no interest in that movie, went into FSD3's room to borrow her TV and watch something else, which happened to be more kid-oriented than the movie he picked. FDS3 and FDH eventually came to join me, but I think what FDH wanted was for me to stay with him, to choose his movie instead of something else that it turned out FSD3 wanted.

I try to back off. I try to give them space. I never tuck her in or join them for bath time anymore, and I've stopped reading her stories because that's something he really, really looks forward to doing with her. But if I avoid coming over on the weekends he has her, he accuses me of avoiding HER. If I don't come over on the weekends he has her, I miss out on seeing him.

But if he's in a lousy mood with me after a long day of being clung to by HIS kid because he's jealous and ashamed to admit it, why should I even bother? I'm his girlfriend, not Mother Teresa.