StepDog
All the pup postings made me think of this: does anyone else have a step-dog? We have a dog that goes back and forth between our homes, with no real fixed schedule. I feel bad when we have the dog because we both work long, full days (and BM doesn't work) so it seems unfair to the dog. But, BM insists that we take the dog, usually at random and without notice.
Anyone dealing with this?
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I have never personally
I have never personally encountered it but have heard about it before. Does your DH want to have the dog for visitation? If not, cut the ties.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
DH loves the dog but feels
DH loves the dog but feels sorry for it when it is home alone so often. It is the "martial dog" so when they negotiated their divorce agreement, DH was pushed to agree to create some kind of visitation schedule for the dog in the future. I think at this point DH would love to cut ties, but BM won't have it. So sad for this dog -- it is a lovely dog, but you can tell it is very, very lonely when it stays with us.
Yeah, we kinda had something
Yeah, we kinda had something like that because my stepson wanted the dog to go with him on the rare occasions in the past when he visited his mother overnight. There was no schedule though but we put a stop to the back and forth because the dog is old and BM was in bed most of the time (didnt walk the dog). My stepson wouldn't walk the dog either so out of concern for the dog, that ended a long time ago.
My stepdog is old, too. I
My stepdog is old, too. I wonder how much longer he'll be able to handle the back and forth.
LOL funny name for it but so
LOL funny name for it but so true..yes we have a stepdog that goes with SD. Personally I don't agree with it but its not my place to object.
A child has a reason and understanding as to why she goes between two households; the dog (or any somewhat intellegent animal) doesn't.
In our case, we live in
In our case, we live in Manhattan so it is really tough because we can't just let the dog out into the "yard," given that no yard exists. Poor thing just sits on a sofa, completely confused, until we come home to take him for a walk.
In your case, was the dog the "family dog" before the divorce?
BM and DH got it for SD
BM and DH got it for SD after they seperated with the intent of it going where ever their daughter went.
Like you guys, we don't have a yard either but BM does. The good thing is the amount of time the dog (and SD) are over here isn't that much. Good for the dog not so good for SD. Just wish we had her more.
Was yours the family dog? I don't remember reading it in your post.
Yep, my DH and his ex bought
Yep, my DH and his ex bought the dog together -- DH really misses the dog.
I read more of your story.
I read more of your story. So he's willing to give up the dog even though he'll miss it, right? You said he asked BM to take the dog full time but she said no. What do you think would happen if he really pressed the issue? He's only doing what is fair for the dog. There's literature backing up the statement of these kind of split arrangements for pets. Not to mention what you are witnessing with the dog.
Do you think she'd get rid of it?
I have a StepDog too.
I have a StepDog too. Happily, he lives with us full time. I love this dog. He actually "belongs" to my adult stepson but has always lived with my DH. I've already told SS he can't take the dog back when he's out of school! I have two of my own dogs and a GrandDog that hangs around sometimes, so it's quite a party at my house.
That's how the pets at BM's
That's how the pets at BM's house are. Skids talk about the animals...how they can afford 4 cats and 5 dogs but live off the state, I'm not sure. Anyway, the next we'd talk to them we'd ask about the pets and they've run away or gotten hit in the road or one of the neighbors would take them into their house...whatever. But, they'd ALWAYS find new ones!
Could have a stepdog in the
Could have a stepdog in the near future.
BM adopted a dog recently and SS8 & SS13 keep asking to bring it along on their weekends with us.
I put my foot down right away. I said, NO!, and asked them the following: Do our dogs (we have 2) go to BM's house with you?
SSons keep bringing it up though. I just keep telling them it's not fair to our dogs to bring another into the house.
Besides BM's dog is totally out of control, kinda like ssons, but I digress. I don't want dog that counter-surfs, eats socks, and jumps on tables. Oh and isn't house trained yet (after 9 months and obedience school) It ain't happening.
~BettyRay
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"PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES."
-Henry Kaiser
SD tried to get a "traveling
SD tried to get a "traveling dog." Luckily, DH said no. SD wanted a long-haired chihuahua that would go wherever she went. Um, no. You want one and your mom agrees, great. It stays at her house. We don't want one, we don't agree, don't bring any teeny dogs into my house. Later we got a mixed-breed puppy that's now 50 pounds. SD HATES that dog, I think because in her mind it preempted her itty bitty traveling dog.
Aww...Steve. I hope you feel
Aww...Steve. I hope you feel better.
no but..... when my
no but.....
when my aunt/uncle divorced neither wanted the dog. They had gotten for the kids. So when they decided to split the kisd 50/50 they had the dog go with the kids. So the dog was split as well, I guess.
So I would say the dog goes with the kids or just plain refuse the animal if it isn't in the DD.