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Just venting here so my hubby doesn't have to hear about it. LOL

MARLA_823's picture

We have everything SD5 needs at our house. BM constantly tries to send half her house over to ours. Well who's the one to keep track of all BMs stuff? ME! If one thing gets forgotten, she throws a fit about how much it cost and blah blah blah. STOP SENDING YOUR STUFF! All we need is SD and the clothes on her back. Now we have had many socks and such go missing at BMs house but we just tell her when you find it send it back, we don't send anything that would devastate us when it's lost. But she constantly accuses us of losing stuff that we sent back, and after throwing a fit texts back "oh I found it nevermind!" No apology. Well I purchased a bag to tote stuff between houses. That way nothing can get lost right? WRONG BM lost the bag and now is claiming she gave it back! On top of it, SD came home with a message from BM that she NEEDS her stuff back bc it belongs to BM. Well I've decided I'll give BMs stuff back when I get my bag that I NEED bc it belongs to me. I have to see BM today. We'll see how that goes.

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Jsmom's picture

Do what we do and the kid only comes with their school back pack. Then we only lose the clothes they are wearing that day....works better. We still lose stuff, but nothing that bad.

ThatGirl's picture

I had to buy new socks for my boys each week, because they would never make it back from their dad's house. When they were finally older, I just told them they were SOL if they couldn't manage to bring back everything.

As for the skids? I something feel like I should search their bag before they leave. They seem to think it's OK to take our bath towels, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, movies, etc. Sometimes they even raid the pantry before doing for snacks to take. Sorry, but it's not my job to stock their mother's home. When they return, they don't have any of that stuff, but do have a whole ton of dirty laundry (their mom doesn't have a washer and drier). Sounds silly, but that's starting to piss me off, too. Why should ALL of their laundry be washed at our house? She has them 50/50, she should be doing 50% of the laundry.

kayjoy21's picture

BM stared off doing that till I put my foot down! My first time to stop it was when I told the skids in front of BM that it's going to stay in the car till you guys come back. That didn't work cause BM said they need those things it remind them of home and it makes them happy. PLEASE! :? So the last time the skids were showing me and DH what they had this time I said cool now go take them and put it in your mom's car that way we don't leave them at our house, BM came to me and said why do you do this to the kids I told her flat out they have the same things at our house that make them just has HAPPY!!! Thank you! Got in the car we left she has never tried it again!!!!

SteppingUp's picture

This is familiar to us, too!! BM complains that SD5's clothes don't get returned to her. They do, but not until after they get washed, hung up, SD wears other outfits, etc. We're not going to put her in the same outfit the next day. So then Bm started complaining that SD5's clothes aren't getting returned to her because our dog eats them. We asked her why she thinks our dog eats stuff, and she said that's what SD told her. Well, yes, our dog likes to CARRY things around the house but he does not EAT the skid's clothes! If they are left on the floor, sometimes the dog just brings them into a different room and drops them. SD didn't mean that the dog EATS them, but BM took it that way.

BM is constantly losing the daycare bag, or sending SS3 to daycare with a new one with nothing in it, then daycare tells us there's nothing in it so when SS had an accident that day he had to borrow clothes, then we call BM to ask why she sent a new bag with nothing in it, and her response is that we need to fill it with clothes/pull ups because she filled it last time and WE lost it. How can we lose it if we haven't had SS/the bag in 3 days? Two months later, SS miraculously shows up with that original bag from BM's house. This has happened at least 5 times in the last year.

purpledaisies's picture

I haven't read all the replies but I'll tell you what my dh did when bm tried this same thing. We got tired of having to keep up her stuff and her griping if it wasn't returned and I refused to keep up with I was just too tired of the crap! Anyway he told her to stop sending it and when she wouldn't listen he left in the parking lot right on front of her. He told her that he was tired of the griping and problems it caused and the best way to stop that is to not bring the crap with us and for her to keep it as we have all the boys need here. BM stopped sending them at that point.

MARLA_823's picture

LMAO Robinsnest! Just trying to keep it real on the bio! lol From the beginning I've let BM know I wasn't taking any crap from her. You let me know if you need any ideas on pissing yours off!

Rags's picture

I would solve this by not letting the SKid bring anything in the house. If BM drops her off have DH meet them at the car and take only the kid. Same if DH picks up the kid.

If the Skid does show up with a bag, leave it by the front door or in the coat closet and send it back unopened when the Skid goes back to BM.

This sounds like a cheap trick for BM to interfere in your home and cause drama.

The last few years of visitation after our kid (my SS) reached adult size, he left a supply of clothes in SpermLand and only took a small back pack between SpermLand and home. If he lost crap that was on him.

Good luck.