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Princess is lying to her Daaaaaaaaaaad!

lovin-life's picture

Princess is lying to her Daaaaaaaaaaad!

He talked to her she said..she "had NOTHING to do with my daughter batting..the other coach did the line-up & while she was saying .."I'M NOT taking the heat for this one."... she's now trying to distance herself..and look like the rose in Daddy's eyes..

My daughter also conveyed that SD knew she wasn't allowed to put her in the game...and the converstion actually went more like.."I'll take the heat" No, I'll take the heat" back & forth....

I told hubby ..one of them is lying..I already know which one!!!! He's blind!!!!

I just called coach #2...who confirmed my daughter's version of events...and added a few other interesting tidbits.

SD was laughing & joking about it most of the game....it was a "BIG JOKE" was his exact words and he also heard SD say to my daughter "You didn't get hurt so it's OK to tell your mother now".......did SD instruct her to keep it from me..to lie about it??!!!

This coach appologised profusely for allowing it to happen... he thought it was OK (because it was OKed by the only adult family member present)... He heard the laughing & joking but didn't pay much attention to it and thought it was a "family joke"....not something that was done deliberately behind my back to ..be spiteful? defiant? sticking it to old Step-Mom..........

SD is such a liar!!!!!!! I told my daughter that SD is hanging her out to dry..... to watch her back..because of SD trying to cover her own ass....Hubby now thinks that SHE is the liar!!!!!!!

Comments

Allyceson's picture

Maybe you should ask your husband, if his daughter is telling the truth, why couldn't she at least have been a big enough person to step up and let the other coach know that her ss couldn't bat? You know, seeing as how we are talking about a child's physical well-being here. I can't get over that he's not floored about this. He's okay with turning a blind eye, while his daughter dearest turns into a spiteful, nasty person who would put a child much younger than her in harms way? I don't understand. I know this sounds harsh- maybe my mood today, but I don't think I could even look at him at this point.

lovin-life's picture

I am pissed at both of them!!! He's at work today..24 hr shift..so I don't have to look at him today..and I know he spoke to SD by phone from work right after he spoke to me. So time-line wise she must have sent him this e-mail not long after....but instead of appologising to me. She just sends an e-mail to HIM through our joint e-mail....making chit-chit like he's her best buddy in the whole world..and nothing out of the ordinary is going on. She knows he's at work..and I'm the one who'll see it.

I had this big speil ready to send to her today..that was basically everything I've said here..what were you thinking ..how dare you..etc...but I was advised to not send it.

I just couldn't contain myself....so I sent a reply anyway!!!!
Much toned down....

IT went as follows:
{I am supremely PISSED at you!

I'm glad you had such a chuckle putting *** in the game Monday....... Nice to know its...how did you put it... "OK for her to tell me now since she didn't get hurt..." That statement tells me you were aware of the risks, my wishes, doctors orders etc.... and did it anyway........

...just like you mentioned in the car the other day......about taking her on your bike..against my wishes..some comment about doing it anyway/not telling me....... Batting / biking whatever!}

Sister-in-law thinks that SD will just cry crocodile tears to Daaaaaaaddy...and I'll wear it all.

I can't believe him either!!!! I'll let you all know how it goes...

In the meantime I've decided to take a couple of days for myself..daughter's going with her Dad..son doesn't want to..SD is going away with her fiance for the long weekend so Hubby is watching her dog.....here..so it can PISS ALL OVER MY CARPET like it usually does. I don't want THE DAMN DOG in my house!!!!!!!! Especially now feeling as I do!

Soooooooo I think I'll take that "mini-vacation" weekend hubby & I were supposed to take B/f he blew me off for SD.... and take me & my son on a little trip..."mini vacation"....just the two of us........

happy's picture

You poor thing.. I would be spitting bullets about now..
She must be a very immature girl.. And she's getting married..
How will she take care of a husband when she obviously cannot take care of her sister.. Ok I know I bit on her.. Can't help it. Let your DH get angry with you..
I like you would not want her dog pissing all over my house either.. Can't you tell him that or will he defend her dog too.
I think your husband needs to be a husband too, I mean a dad too but in this case it should be a husband backing his wife..
Men who are in these situations need to grow some damn balls.. And quit playing the damn princess card all the time..
See I am bitter today..
Well I am sending you a hug.. So there you go..

lovin-life's picture

Yes, HE defends her damn dog tooooo!!!! Wanted his cat put-down when he was married for that same reason...but her dog..the sun rises & sets on that tooo...

And as far as her taking care of her husband.... HA

Listen!!! he does the cooking...he does the cleaning..he does the laundry..he makes the money.. This guy had just bought his own house ..so she dumped her high-school sweetheart..cheated on him with this guy..once she set her sights on him....put the run on his roommates and moved herself right in..

It's history repeating itself... the spawn of the mother...suckering some poor young fool in who doesn't know what he's done and what she's really all about until it's too late....

I'm having a very bitter day...week....also...and kind of letting it all hang out.... Thanks Girls!!

lovin-life's picture

I asked him a hypothethical questions .. When I got 1/2 way through and he figured out where I was going he started getting defensive... I told him he has no objectivity and can't even let me ask a generalized hypothical question. He kept saying it was my daughter's fault..she shouldn't have played..she knew it..etc..and did everything he could to deflect responsibilty all onto the 13 yr old with none for the 20 yr old adult who was in charge of her as a babysitter and a coach!

So I asked him...IF SD was lying to him about what she said.what was he going to do about it...as a parent. He comes back with sarcasm saying.."tell her I wasn't impressed"..so I ask..would that be it... he comes back with "what else do you want me to do..spank her?!"

Then I ask...Would she be expected to appologise for making my daughter out to be the liar? He starts again with ..whose to say your daughter isn't the liar..you only have one side of the story..defend princess..defend princess..etc.

(He doesn't know I spoke to the other coach/witness who verified everything my daughter said and then some..& I didn't tell him different)

Then he began lecturing ME about taking my daughters side..
He said that parents can't make the mistake of just taking their kids word for things.....the "not my baby syndrome"

I said "ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!" dripping with sarcasm myself

He hung up on me....

See... I told you ladies...
You just can't talk to him about princess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Candice's picture

There is a clear difference in maturity level between 13 and 20. If you daughter was begging to play, and 20 year old knew her medical conditions, under no cicumstances should 20 year old put 13 year old in game what so ever!

Instead of trying to get through to her stubborn daddy, and through to the defiant 20 year old...I would go straight to head coach and let them know what type of risky behavior their assistant coach is providing their team. Putting a player in a game where there is high level of re-injury is putting those head coaches at risk for an injury lawsuit!! Any smart head coach that knew an assistant coach is playing risky business with their players would drop that ass. coach like yesterdays news! Imagine what the look on her face would be like when the head coach approaches her and gives her the ultimate rejection? Hell he/she might even really chew her dumbass out for putting your daughter at risk like that.

Candice's picture

I'm sorry lovin-life...it sounds like your are against all odds right now! I do not blame you for being so pist off...I would be too!

lovin-life's picture

I'll have to use that line..."there's a clear difference in maturity between 13 and 20"..I didn't think of that in the heat of the moment and I'm sure he'll keep throwing all the responsiblity on the child..so It'll come in handy!

Thanks Smile

happy's picture

You poor thing..
How are we woman suppose to communicate with our husbands when #1 they do not want to hear it.. #2 say they do not understand.. #3 say WE need PROZAC... you know who I think needs prozac THEM..
I think you need to be frank with your step daughter.. If he will not say anything you need too. It is your daughter.. And play the coach card after you confront her and she lies to your face.. Then pull that trump card out.. If your husband gets mad well then so be it he already is.. Whats he going to do quit having SEX with you.. LOL I am kidding about that.. Someone needs to show this 21 year old GIRL that she cannot get away with everything.. And the only reason she does this crap is because she knows it is going to cause problems for you with her dad.. Because Daddy's little princess does no wrong. I know a couple that there daughter was treated that way all her life.. She is now 18, noone but me could discipline her which case I did but she owul dlie and say hateful mean things and stuff well the end result is she is 18 a high school drop out and does not work and considered the town slut. Obviously his daughter is graduated and stuff. But I would do this when she is alone.. Then when he comes around and says shit to you just play his game back.. I never said that.. She's lying play his game right back.. I am awfully spiteful today..
Hope I at least put a smile on your face..
Love ya lovin-life

lovin-life's picture

You did put a smile on my face. Yeah I don't want them to know that I have that card yet! I want to catch her in the lies...but she is sneaky..and her back will be to the wall (with Dad standing gaurd teeth bared at me).....so who knows what she'll do. I think she & he will walk away..or stomp off..and refuse to be confronted..

It won't be pretty!

I don't stand a chance of winning these BS mind games against her. She hated her mother and openly encouraged her father to leave..I think it's possible that SD might have been causing rifts in her Dad's relationships for a while..... He's putty for her to manipulate anyway she she's fit!! Given this situation..I can't help but wonder how much trouble/damage/turmoil these two caused within his first marriage. I mean this is absolutely rediculous!!!!

On another note.. SD hasn't responded to my e-mail....I wonder if she will? Or will she just hide behind Daddy...drive us further apart...

I need all the luv & hugs I can get :)...

Allyceson's picture

I would put up a big stink with the coach and get her dropped as asst. She obviously shouldn't be in charge of other peoples' children. And if your hubby gets pissed that you did it, you can always point out that she wouldn't have gotten dropped if the coach hadn't confirmed that SHE had been the one to put your daughter in the game. Who's the liar, now?
I've found that sometimes Karma needs a little help.
I have to say here that I love this board. There are quite a few other boards where the advice you would get would be to suck it up- she's his daughter. Yuck. Blah, blah, blah. At her age, you can act like you want to be part of the family, or stay away.

happy mom's picture

I would sit that SD down and tell her straight out the she needs to stop playing this game. Have your daughter stay away from her if SD does not change. Tell your husband what you have observed.

-happy mom

lovin-life's picture

It's pretty rediculous isn't it!! I relayed some of my conversation with hubby to my daughter..she has a game tomorrow night and both SD and S DAd will be there..I don't want to go..but feel like I have to to protect her from SD's lies & hubbys delusions.

Anyways....I told her that he still thinks that she is the liar and is still defending her step-sister and that he keeps saying it's (other coaches) fault and your own fault..you shouldn've known better. I think it's fair that she knows this...especially if she has to deal with this crap tomorrow

She agrees that it is her own fault..she knows. I have benched her..and she also knew she wasn't supposed to bat and did anyway. AT least SHE is mature enough to admit it when she messes up!!

Well then she goes on to tell me more about what really happened. She said she was "protecting SD" and didn't want to say anything else to get her in trouble....BUT When SD read off the batting order, the other coach unknowingly put her in ..My daughter actually did protest and said "I don't think I'm supposed to be batting" to SD... who replies..."Do it anyway, just don't get hit with the ball!!" My daughter decided to tell me after all since..SD is throwing her under the train to save herself..making her out to be the liar..she is not impressed by that AT ALL!!!

SD actually encouraged her to play..when she pointed out she wasn't allowed too. Just when I think I'm as pissed as I can get.. BAMM!!

The other coach (assist) ..who I spoke to this morning is kind of pissed at SD himself. He feels "played". He was soooo appologetic for what happened..he kept saying "I would never had put her in had I known!!" I told him I don't blame him .. I just called to find out what was really said..(I do my homework). He's the one who said it was a "BIG JOKE" between SD & my daughter..he thought it was a "family joke"..something that hubby & I would laugh at/be happy about too. He was not happy when I told him ..she did it deliberately against my wishes..

During my conversation with hubby after spewing SD's crap..that it was all the other coaches fault..he said that he knows I would never call up (other coach) to discuss this issue/give him shit..Why wouldn't I??? He could actually verify who's telling the truth!!

Hubby didn't know I've already done my homework.and spoke to him this morning and he doesn't know that .other Coach suggested this morning that he would be more than happy to join a "Group discussion" with all parties present and expose SD's lies..cause he feels kind of used and stupid too and isn't very impressed and feels very badly that he had any role (knowingly or unknowinly) in putting my daughter at risk. OMG! I think hubby would have a meltdown!!!! To have princess exposed in front of everyone like that. And I will be a marked woman..as far as SD's revenge goes!! She got her mother in her..

The fact that I was making sense, had solid arguments and he couldn't cloud the issue with BS like he usually does...and couldn't deal with the fact...that Princess may actully be the liar. He had to hang up on me!!!! He will loose his mind...if me & other coach confront her..in front of him...both of them will!!!! I'm not sure if I'm ready for the shit that'll cause!!!

I've tried for so long to just let it all roll off my back. I've bitten my tongue..gone with the flow..I don't think SD thought I would call her on it!!!! Hubby either...I've been relitively passive when it came to her..sucked it up!!!!

I don't know if I like where this is going.....

Thanks For Listening & The Advice
Having Your Support Helps Smile

lovin-life's picture

Have you eve heard this saying...

One day I went to Kiss SD's ass..but I just couldn't do it...her Dad's FEET were in the way! lol

..you can "insert name here"..to suit your needs... Smile

I'm in such a mood!!!

happy's picture

She hates her birth mom.. And encouraged there divorce.. That to me is very strange.. Who in there right mind wants there parents to get divorced? Sounds like she wants daddy all to herself..
Well you have my support.. I def. would not put up with any shit from either of them. Sounds like your husband needs to really think about what he has and wants.. Defending your kids is one thing when they are not in the wrong but she is clearly in the wrong.. And the worst of it is, she is competing with you for her dad.. I think at 21 you should be past that point and moved on to well shes engaged.. To me its just STRANGE.. and not fair to you or your children at all.

lovin-life's picture

Well her bio-mom is a real bitch...by all accounts..(it tends to be my nature..to check my sources..and get more than 1 side of a story)...and wasn't much of a mother..wasn't there for anyone in the family..just out for herself!! This has been told to me by hubby/sister-in-law/brother in law/long-time famiy friends..etc. I've seen it..using SD..after the divorce for a child-support check and ditching her once she wasn't worth $$ to her anymore.

I think SD has some real issues with female relationships as a result of her mother. She watched her mother treat her father like dirt, cheat on him, belittle him, play mind games with him, etc.... and didn't like it..and told him to leave for the last 4 yrs they were together and always said "Dad..I'm going with you..when you leave!"

I don't think she counted on me..showing up!! I ruined everything for her..(I'm surmising)..that's why she was sooo pissy in the beginning towards us and ran to her mother. Mom played the I'm your buddy..stay with me..role to perfection..until she turned 19 and wasn't worth $$ then her true colors showed again. But SD has gone back to Dad in recent years and the games are on ... (Again I'm surmising).

It reminds me of alcoholism...it runs in families.. And the kids coming up in an alcoholic home..dispise it..or the alcoholic parent..and vow to never be like that.. yet the cycle continues..over & over..through generations

She hated the things her mother did/does/stands for...but she's still her mother..and like it or not..mother is the female role model in her life and she has been conditioned to be that way with people, treat other women with jealousy, manipulate men to do everything for you..cooking/cleaning/laundry etc.. to take and rarely give..(unless it suits your purposes)

She does not even have 1 close female freind!!!!! She hangs out with her BF's best friend..who is her cousin..and constantly bashes his wife. I mean CONSTANTLY!!!! Yet is very sweet & freindly to her face...that's the closest female in her life. She used to hang out more with her other cousin..female..but hey have drifted apart..(yet she is standing for her b/c she has no-one else)...but she is SOOOOOO jealous of her.. will have gatherings at her house and not invite this girl.

I really think SD surrounds herself with men/male friends because she knows how to play them..and the women see right through her. Serious female relationship problems!!!!!!

I think your right ... hubby has to clear his head..and get a grip on reality.... but if he doesn't .. I have to face my options!!!

SD will never allow him to be happy with any other woman!!!!!