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What Do I DO???

Lost n Hopeless's picture

Ok... So I've been in a relationship with my BF for over 5 years now. We each have a daughter. Mine is 9 and his is 7. I literally can't stand his kid. I am so annoyed by her, that I don't know what to do anymore. She lies constantly, breaks my belongings, and whines and cries over everything. In the beginning, I opened my life to that little girl. Her mom was a drug addict, so she was constantly abandoned, over n over. I was 100% there for my SD, and opened my life, my house, my heart, my family, and then some...to that little girl. My BF's mom ended up taking care of her, cause I couldn't do it, and my BF workd ALOT. After about a year, I just couldn't be responsible for someone elses child, even though I welcomed her with open arms. This SD of mine is much harder to take care of, and I have a special needs daughter, so u could just imagine the difficulty this child had been. 3 years passed, and now my BF has full custody of her. She just moved in full time, and I am dreading it!! She wrote in her little jpurnal that she hates me... Her Grandma hates me, which is where the H8 came from to begin with. I can't trust a single word she says, nor can I believe her. My BF supports me, but onlY to a certain extent. He thinks I'm crazy b/c I blame her for all my broken belongings, which by the way, she has broken my brand new $200 keyboard, my new diamond earrings that my boyfriend got me, my sunglasses, and the list goes on n on. My SD told me that she thinks up evil ways to try n break up me n her daddy, and that she wants her dad all to herself. She is always so negative and causes problems all the time. She has made up lies about my daughter sticking barbies up her butt, which CPS investigated, and she finally came out with the truth afterwrds that it ddnt happen. When she first moved in, she was 3, and she was sticking her fingers in her butt, which I thought was so weird. We had her investigated for sexual abuse, but the results came back negative. Who knows what this little has been through before she has moved in with me?? Her mother used to bring her to "drug houses" and only the Lord knows what happened there.
Bottome line is, I love her and I love my BF, but I am at my witts end with her. I don't wunna be fully responsible for her. It's not my job yet, cuz we're not married. I have already done so much for her, but she doesn't appreciate a dam thing. What should I do? Should I get out of this reelationship? I'm willing to try a bit harder, but I feel this little girl is a lost cause. I can't help her. She see's a counselor, but even that's not enough. Her evil ways r rubbing off on my daughter, and I don't want that, AT ALL!! What do I do??? ANy advice?

Comments

Frustr8d1's picture

I'm in a similar boat where I have a 2 yo plus SD9. SD9 can't tell the truth if her life depended on it. She steals, ruins things, and is already starting to teaching my 2 yo bad habits. If I had a chance to get out of this I WOULD. Look at it like you still have to protect your own child, not your BF's child.

There are other relationships out there for you. Run while you can!

Lost n Hopeless's picture

I wuna run sooooooo freakin bad, but something is keeping me here. I think I'm holding on to the hope that things will change, when in reality, thr only gettin worse. How do you handle it?

Lost n Hopeless's picture

Thanx so much for the advice. I know this little girl has gone through hell, but I just don't wuna b the one she takes it out on. I want her to c my love and I want her to know that I'm here for her, but I don't think she duz. I hava feeling her hate for me is guna grow n grow, but I luckily have some hope left, and thanx to your encouraging words, I'm not guna give up on her, cuz then I'd b doing exactly what her own mother has done to her. Great advice!

starfish's picture

"She needs you, and with time and some help, and some love and understanding that you continually provide, she will get better. "

so does a rescue animal. if things are getting worse and you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. best to make a plan, cut your losses (5yrs is a long time), move on and go ahead adopt a pet in need (it will bring you & dd much happiness).

starfish's picture

but you're NOT her mother or even her stepmother.

"I'd b doing exactly what her own mother has done to her"

Lost n Hopeless's picture

I know I'm not any type of legal mother to her, but I did actually try to be, and it backfired and hit me in the ass! How can some1 treat me like the bad person, when all i ever tried to do was provide that little girl with a stable loving home? My SD's gramma is crazy! She despises me b/c I couldn't take care of her full time. I just couldn't do it!! I did it for about a year, and realized I took on too much too quick. My BF never told me that when we move in together, that I would be fully responsible for his kid. I wish I would have taken things slower and maybe I wouldn't be feeling the way I feel now. Sad