You are here

why do I feel like this

Lola1234 .'s picture

Why is it so complicated for me to just let things be the way it is.. why do I feel jealous of the oldest kid getting even thing they want with out earning it. A new iPhone 6 , just moved in after 17 years with her mom and new found father spoiling her like she's the queen of the home .. he doesn't even treat and spoil his 3 kids he raised since birth with gifts time off and money . She doesn't go to school nor have a job doesn't clean help around the house lounges all day and fakes her innocence when all she does is yell and try to control her step brothers all day long but when her dad my bf gets home it's all fun and loving princess with a calm voice running to the door , I'm disgusted with this change in her he has no clue and when I mention the change he saids she's my daughter yes OK then take a DNA test and prove to me she is you did not think she was yours from the day her mom had her and stood away because her mom was a stripper now all of a sudden she contacts you at 15 and Now you decide she really is your daughter after. Allll this time now you say if I don't like it there's the front door.. UNBELIEVABLE!! After all I did for the 3 little one taking them in like they were my own!!! :O

Comments

Indigo's picture

Ouch. I'm not certain that I'd want to stay with a man who negated me so well. Sounds like he is saying: "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya."

Regarding new SD, my first thought was a nanny cam/video recording/audio recording of actual daily life versus DH's perceived reality. I'd be disgusted in the change in him more than the change in her.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I'd walk away from any man who told me to go if I didn't like it, especially if I am reading this right, and you have helped him raise 3 kids that aren't yours. He has basically invalidated your feelings. That shows a complete lack of respect for you.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I'd walk away from any man who told me to go if I didn't like it, especially if I am reading this right, and you have helped him raise 3 kids that aren't yours. He has basically invalidated your feelings. That shows a complete lack of respect for you.

Amcc13's picture

I would try the nanny cam for sure. It will allow him to see things. Make sure to record one week in case he says it's an off day. Then keep a copy as well for the court.
Are you close to any other family of his? A sister or cousin of that who may be able to intervene? Someone who he has respect for who may be able to tell him he has gone off the deepend?

Other than that my advice is get the nanny cam and give it two weeks. Many nanny cams all over the house. During this time make a list of all the assets, money , etc. After all he could just splurge on iPhone remember ?
Then split your finances from his.
Show him the nanny cam and tell him what he has said to you is the last straw - you have looked after his children as if they were your own with little issue. Now this child comes along and he has more regard for her than you who is his partner and wife. He either gets his act together or you are gone.
Then bring a copy to the divorce lawyer to show him what had happened and take him for every penny he has. You RAISED those children- invoice him for the cost of all of that. Respect yourself and know that you are not to blame for this situation

geegeeblue's picture

You can nanny cam all you want but it'll just be a waste of time and money. Her misbehavior may be very obvious but he will be in denial and defend her anyway... Or make an excuse to make it seem like it's not so bad... And/Or he will get mad and turn it on you. He's not going to aknowledge the situation- I've been there and done that. I know all too well.

robin333's picture

Why stay with someone that shows you such little respect? You deserve much better. Make an exit plan.

geegeeblue's picture

I've come to learn that whatever you do from the good in your heart goes unappreciated. You took in his three kids and now he wants to treat you like your say is insignificant when it comes to his teenage daughter? I will tell you he's most likely feeling guilty for all the time lost with this girl and that's why he's spoiling her. You're in a tough spot. I'm a very prideful person and I would just tell him to go f* himself. I wouldn't risk a gray hair for the brat or the idiot. But that's just me.