SS16 stands up SO without calling on Saturday, on Sunday calls asking for money
SS was supposed to call SO on Saturday regarding getting together to watch a sporting event, their main thing to do together for the 5+ past years. SO and SS have not been speaking or seeing each other due to SS's histrionics / drama / delinquent tendencies, so it was a big deal that SO asked SS if he wanted to come over. SS didn't show and didn't call. SO was hurt, and pissed.
But being the kind of guy who keeps to himself, SO didn't even mention how he felt about it to me until after he finally did get a call, on Sunday, asking for money.
SO has been without work since 9/1/10 - and SS knows it. SO works temp through an agency. He has no savings. BM and SS both know this. I am fully supporting SO right now - I have a good job. BM and SS both know this.
Where do they think SO is going to get money from? I don't mean SO only has a little savings. I mean he has *no* savings. Anything he made working hourly in the time I've been with him has been put towards SS and his sport (with no help from BM, who never gave a cent in CS). And anything he had at the beginning of September is gone now for regular expenses since he hasn't been working.
Yes, I have a little bit of savings from my own job. Not much. But it's sure not going to be doled out for SS at this point. No way in hell.
SO told SS, "You know I don't have a job, right? Where do you think I can get money to give you? And you didn't even call yesterday when we had plans - why are you only calling when you need something?"
Thank goodness for SO. This is why I agreed with "it comes down to the men." How many people's SO/DH on here would be asking them for money at this point?
L
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He's 16, so technically he
He's 16, so technically he could get one. Except he's got no skills and no work ethic. That could be a problem. But then again among today's youth that would hardly stand out!
L
LizGrace - my SS16 refuses to
LizGrace - my SS16 refuses to get a job and so hubby and I refused to help him get a car but of course his mommies rich boyfriend bought him one - here is the kicker they filled it up with gas and now he is running out of that tank and has no money for more. He called DH for some money and DH said you now have a car GET A JOB!! Luckily my DH has the attitude no worky no nothing from him but CS - he also pays Medical and clothing. I really don't ever see my SS getting a job he would not know how to work - it really is sad he wants to be rich and not work for it - does he think Warren Buffet or Sam Walton got rich just by sitting on their asses playing video games - then again he would want to be the kids of them instead so he did not have to work - if you look at the Wal Mart family - Sam Walton worked his ass off, his kids did as well but not the Grandkids most of them are lazy screw ups - I really don't know SS is so lazy because DH has worked like a dog and so have I all my life and even his mother works but she babies him and lets him get away with everything. It is sad because this kid will want to live with us after college and after reading everyone's story on here I am starting to make plans to make sure that never happens.
I don't know where my SS gets
I don't know where my SS gets it either - like you & your DH, SO and I have worked for everything we've gotten. I hate the "entitlement" attitude that a lot of kids seem to have today. It's like you said, they want to be rich without working for it. I guess none of us would actually complain if we were suddenly rich without earning it, but most of us realize that that's not going to happen so we get to work. The kids sit around and wait and bitch.
That's why I hate that song "I wanna be a billionaire" - I know somebody here has it as a tag line and I'm not trying to knock them. But the kids already think all they need to do is wish hard enough and it will drop in their laps. They don't really need a song encouraging them.
Another song I hate lately - Teenage Dream by Katy Perry. Do we really need our kids singing "let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love"? How many teenage PREGNANCIES will this teenage dream be responsible for?
Ahh, what can you do?
L
LizGrace65, thanks for the
LizGrace65, thanks for the update on your SO's situation this weekend with SS. I agree with you and Caregiver1127 (as always) 100%!!
My BF & I work our butts off. Everything we have, we've earned ourselves and paid for ourselves. BM, on the other hand, is a shining example of how to be dependent on other people, how to be a money-grubbing leech and how to USE others for what you want in life. Unfortunately, skids are following in BM's footsteps - they have absolutely NO CONCEPT WHATSOEVER of the value of a dollar. They are turning out to be JUST.LIKE.THEIR.MOTHER - they want to take the easy way out, the path of least resistance, whatever is the most direct route to getting their wants fulfilled (note I did not say their NEEDS, but their WANTS) without having to EARN IT themselves. It's disgusting.
Like Caregiver1127, I am now starting to prepare for when skids are "adults" - they will not be allowed to LIVE WITH US after high school UNLESS they are in college full-time (in which case, I'll be more than happy to help them out, so long as they are WORKING also and contributing towards the cost of college or books or whatever). If they are NOT in college full-time, they will NOT be allowed to live with us UNLESS they pay a NORMAL AMOUNT OF RENT and there will STILL be an age-based restriction in place even for how long THAT privilege will last!!
No way in HELL am I going to live MY life supporting 2 kids that aren't MINE if they aren't SELF-SUPPORTING by the time they are adults. Too bad, so sad.
I'm a nice person, but I know from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that it can be done!! I've worked since I'm a young girl - newspaper routes, babysitting, scrimped & saved my $$$. I paid for 4 years of college (my parents were still married, just simply couldn't afford it) while working full-time while going to school full-time (2 jobs through summer if I had to), I paid for 3 years of law school, studying for Bar Exam to pass the 1st time, etc... Now, as an educated adult woman, I have phenomenal credit, bought my own new cars (no co-signers), bought my own house with my OWN mortgage (no handouts or co-borrowers), buy my own clothes, pay for my own necessities, go on vacations when I can, etc...
IT'S CALLED HARD WORK - A GOOD WORK ETHIC!! Maybe if more parents were to instill this way of thinking into this generation (which I lovingly refer to as "Generation E", the "E" standing for ENTITLEMENT), maybe they would have less drama with their kids!!!
Oh, and the "I want to be a billionaire" song is just SO pathetic in my eyes. The lyrics are "I want to be a billionaire so FREAKIN baaad." I just laugh because the word FREAKIN is just typical slang and classless - not even a real word!!! Just goes to show you the garbage that the kids are listening to (and starting to believe in) nowadays. "Teenage dream" is yet another SHINING example for the kids as well - yeah, I see the teenage pregnancy epidemic going more and more out of control with lyrics like "Let's go all the way tonight..no regrets, just love." I'm sure a typical teenager nowadays will REALLY understand not to engage in that type of behavior being encouraged (sarcasm).
Caregiver, I couldn't agree with you more with having a plan of attack for MY future with my BF and the lazy/entitlement attitude of skids & BM! That's the only way (not to mention, the SMART way) to survive in a situation like ours.