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13 days since H left and no sign of him....

LindaL's picture

I really don't know how to feel right now...I'm mad, disappointed, sad...and don't get me wrong I don't feel bad about my relationship ending with my still H (eventhough sometimes i feel like i miss him but i think i only miss the idea i had of him) but i feel this way because of my son, his dad does not care for him, he haven't even attempted to see him, find out how he is let alone buy anything for him oh! but he keeps asking my sister in law for pictures of him...so he wants the pictures but he doesn't want nothing to do with his son? I just don't get it, i know he is mad at me, he might even hate me, but is not our baby's fault, regardless of our relationship he is still his son, but he doesn't seem to care and that brakes my heart. Oh well just venting...

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LindaL's picture

No, I don't call him or anything, we haven't spoke in the last month and a half, I was just feeling blue this morning, is just sad that he is neglecting my baby when he used to be so proud of himself for being a great dad for his kids...but like you said it is better for my baby to be away for all the drama and his not caring dad

LindaL's picture

it must be really frustrating to see your cousin acting like that, but nothing you can do or say to her to make her realize...
I don't know why i'm feeling like this today, like you said it's probably that things are not set in yet.

LindaL's picture

no I haven't, see...the last month he spent in the apartment with us he was ignoring us (and his kids also were ignoring us...oh well) so, I don't know if I would be comfortable leaving the baby with him, and he is also 4 months old, he needs a lot of care and attention, and he proved he can't handle it when we lived together....I would be ok with him having visitation, but I feel like he doesn't care, when he and BM broke up she told him he needed to make the effort to see the kids and he went far and beyond to see them, why is he not even interested in knowing how the baby is doing? maybe throug some other people, he doesn't even ask anybody!!!
If he asks I won't say no, i can't say no, but he will have to realize if he wants to be a part of our son's life first, and like you...I hope he is not going to be a dead beat

LindaL's picture

I did, i filed on august 31st, and until today i haven't received any answer from them, I guess they are still trying to gather all his information, I'm going to call today to ask for the status, because i haven't received a dime from him yet...
I hope it passes quickly too!!
Thanks

skylarksms's picture

I just wanted to give you my perspective on having a "father" in your child's life.

Yes, I understand this is the utmost to strive for when a relationship with child(ren) breaks up but it is not necessarily in the best interest of the child(ren).

My son has never met his dad. We were planning on getting married until he got busted for terrorizing a neighbor and ended up in jail. I broke up with him while he was in jail because I didn't feel like that was a good environment to be taking a baby. He took off once he was out on probation and found out that he was expected to pay CS.

My DH has fought tooth and nail to stay a part of his kids' lives. We have spent SO much money that we would much rather have spent on (all three) kids!

Out of the three kids, I think my son is the most well adjusted. And I am not saying that because I am his BM and am prejudice!

Anyway, having both parents in a child's life isn't ALWAYS the best case scenario. Now, if both parents can put aside their differences and animosity for the sake of the children, it can work out great but it doesn't seem like the father of your child is at that point yet. I wouldn't push it