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Countdown (Part 8) … Still In Denial Disneyland Dad

Lillywy00's picture

Still haven't told him. 

Reality is hitting that I will have

  • a space where I'm not cleaning up after the dude and his domestic t3rrorists
  • seggs on MY terms when I want (whether it's once a day, once a month, once a quarter, etc)... no more weekly quotas
  • Quiet weekends - no more loud ass kids and their friends disturbing my peace
  • Things getting promptly repaired 
  • I can have expensive furniture/appliances without worrying if his kids are going to tear my sh*t up (they will!)
  • I will have FREEDOM over my time, my destiny, my body (ex. wearing what I want without dude assuming it's some "signal"), etc 
  • no more arguing about the breeder desperate to get rid of her kids whenever it suits her (she's never held accountable) whilst I get constantly accused of being selfish/trying to get rid of those kids. 
  • No more sacrificing and bending over backwards using my space, my resources for some pushy ingrates who constantly demand more without providing much if anything in return
  • No more feeling like 5th place behind the breeder and her bumps on logs. 

*I really hope dude drops the Disneyland act for his next relationship. 

Ending this still hurts because I did grow to love him despite all his flaws and "baggage" I just wished he could have

1. split holidays

2. disable the 24-7 B. Beck n Call hotline and

3. taught his kids to have some home-training when they come over every weekend

4. spoken with a lawyer to ensure he was paying cs to the state limit so there would be no fear of this manipulating c*nt

He refused so I refuse to stay 


Lillywy00's picture

Thank you! 

I wish men understood (they probably do they just don't care) that women would be more forthcoming if they didn't act like nut jobs when they hear the words NO

I would have liked to be honest with my intentions to leave and give him adequate time to prepare but he did this to himself when he slammed doors, yelled at me, and even tried to restrain me when I tried to walk off from his circular arguments. 

grannyd's picture

Yikes, Lilly!

Time flies by so quickly that I'd forgotten how close you are to FREEDOM! In fact, my stomach clenched when I read this post. Since you're the one in the uber stressful (and potentially dangerous) situation, I can only imagine your level of anxiety.

Of course, you have feelings for the dude after such a long relationship; you're human, after all and a pretty, darned good one at that. Remember though, you're doing him a favour by removing yourself from his life since you're allowing him the opportunity to find a partner better suited to his needs. And Hon, there are a lot of desperate women out there who'd be happy to pick up the reins, cater to the 'no home-training' plumpsters and tolerate the B.Beckn'Call Breeder. Happily, a life of self-respect is your preference.

As much as you've heard this, please recall all of the cautions that we've been advocating and BE CAREFUL! 


Lillywy00's picture

Thank you grannyd

All the times he called me selfish, I realize as you mentioned that me walking away is one of the most selfless things I've done lately and doing him good so that he finds exactly what he's looking for and vice versa

Me trying to be "nice" is actually being mean  

If we stayed together wed quietly (or not so quietly) resent each other. 

This is for the best  

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Tried to restrain you?! Lilly, please let someone know when you're leaving and when you arrive safely at your new place. 

Lillywy00's picture

*trigger warning*


Yeah it was an argument where I tried to walk away because I could tell it was going nowhere and we both were heated. 

He slammed the door and plopped down on top of me 

I'm slender/petite and he is obese twice my size. I told him to move and he did not. So I instantly lost my ish and started yelling at him to move and threatened to call the police. 

He got up and I told him not to ever do that again. 

When we talked about it later he tried to minimize it (oh but did I hit you though?) and thought I was wrong for threatening to call police on him.

I said "look here mf...I don't do domestic violence. You are twice my size and I'm not playing nor wrestling with you like that. You want to "play" go wrestle with your 11 year old obese daughter who is your size. Or How would you feel if some obese 400lb man "play" wrestled with your deceased mother? If you dare touch me again I will call police so fast your head will spin - Then let "Tiny" Tyrone play wrestle you in jail."

he hasn't done anything like that since but the fact he tried it and never apologized rubbed me the wrong way and made me decide to give him zero notice upon move out

Aniki-Moderator's picture

He needs a Double Flying Five Fist Monkey Nut Punch. *diablo*

Yeah, definitely tell someone. If a friend can be there when you leave, even better.

Lillywy00's picture

The movers and 3 of my family members will be here

As mentioned I live in a ridiculously high crime city so everyone stays strapped. 

I don't have a g*n but they do and I will keep a weapon in my bra

Indont think he will be that unhinged to pull a g*n on anyone (especially since he will be outnumbered) and if he knows what's good for him he will simply stay at work. 

Rags's picture

Now, stop with the "love him" self delusional bullshit. He has not earned your love. Stop sabotaging your exciting new start to a great life adventure with some bullshit feelings that you are misinterpreting as love.

Please to not interpret this as me being mean. You owe him nothing.  And for damned sure you do not owe him love, in any shape or form.  He hasn't earned it. For damned sure he has not earned one Picosecond of your future and not one firing synapse worth of thought or consideration.  Do not give him anything but a view of your backside as you get on with your amazing life. He has a brief part of your past. Nothing more.

Enjoy your new future, enjoy your unpolluted time with your DD.

Take care of you.

Give rose

Harry's picture

selfish.  All people are.  We really don't need those $200 pair of jeans. You can't eat jewelry.  A $35,000 car does the same as a $100,000 car. 
'You are not going to change your SO, He does it all the time and you get surprised .  What you see is what you get.

Lillywy00's picture

I know right.

I shouldn't be surprised when he claims he has a weekend free then double back and picks them up (destroying my plans and peace in the process)

I shouldn't be surprised when he waits until 2pm to be like "those kids are coming over at 4pm is that cool with you" as if I can really say no a$$hole you should notify me 24+hrs in advance 

I shouldn't be surprised he keeps putting his ex wife's need for a break from her own kids above my needs for peace in my own home. 

It just all boils down to I don't like living with his kids (they're too loud, messy, destructive, and sometimes slick disrespectful---their behavior is mostly unchecked unless I say something) and I don't want to marry or be long term with any man where my needs are coming after some beastly conniving exwife  and some feral skids for the next 364+ weekends of my life  

Those domestic t3rrorists can have him and this house

THEY WIN (the battle for the house they don't contribute anything to and for attention from clingy enmeshed Disneyland "Dad")... I'm out and on to a better lifestyle 

f*ck her, ftk, and f*ck him too!


Rags's picture

If he wants unscheduled visits, he should give you at least 24 to 48hr notice and you have absolute veto of any unscheduled Skid invasion you do not want polluting your home.

These kids are not BM orphans. They have a BM who is ostensibly the CP. SO needs to get what he pays CS for.  

Everyone, Daddy, mommy, and their spawn need to be forced into clarity that their happy family died and the adults are not beck and call slaves to spawn. Except for maybe the CP, who gets paid for it.

IMHO of course.

The good news, you are gone and into the first steps of living well and engaging in your new life adventure.  He, BM and any sucker who buys into his shit will be the ones to deal with this going forward.


Harry's picture

BM doesn't want the kids 100% of the time.  He should have them 50%. Of the time . He wants to se his kids.

So He's not ready for a new relationship. Or having a SO who wants to play second fiddle SM.   This is not the relationship for you, there is a separation between BF and BF with kids.  You can love your BF ,,but don't want his kids to control your life. It's sad that he is picking his kids and his ex over you,  so much.  He will learn.. maybe .. That his new relationship needs adult time too.  With occasionally alone time. As weekends away . 
'We all are rooting for you to get your life back.  It's not easy.