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Hearing tomorrow

lawyergirl06's picture

So, at the last hearing, on Monday, SO agreed to supervised phone calls between Warthog and the kids. A third party will supervise them so she can't claim he is refusing to allow the phone calls or hanging up and preventing the kids from saying things. Also, she can't claim the kids said things they didn't and we will be notified if there are things they said that need to be handled in counseling. I wish the counselor herself was supervising them but Warthog won't allow that. Mostly because she used to work for the same entity and was let go due to her behavior with patients and her drinking. This was shortly before she went into private practice and the world imploded, but I digress.

I sent an email to the attorney handling SO's side of it and I am hoping I haven't overstepped my bounds but he asked for my opinion so I gave it to him. I told him that we have been struggling from the outset with scheduling and structure for the kiddos and this just throws an even bigger wrench into the system. It's frustrating but if she expects to talk to them everyday she is out of her mind.

Here's where my frustration comes in, at what point do we look at this woman and say it's your behaviors, not ours, that have led to this? Why is everyone so afraid to hold her accountable? Her parents, the attorneys, the judge, the BIL, everyone treats her like some delicate freaking genius. I get that alcoholism is a disease, but it's a treatable one, and when someone refuses to get the treatment they need, do we do charity walks for them? No, we say, that's really sad but you know, it could have been prevented. Why are we catering to someone who has been sober for 45 days and still acts like an over the top nutbag? The treatment center has said that she has done so much damage to her brain and body that she will never be normal. The doctors have said that her mental health issues have gotten to the point (due to her drinking) that she will never have real impulse control again. Hell the shrink who had her on the mental health commitment said that it would probably take a dozen trips to treatment (she is on number 3) before she even RECOGNIZES that she has a problem, let alone tries to control it.

And yet, we are all supposed to bend over backwards for a woman who told the court she could afford the mortgage on a 200k house (despite only receiving 1400 a month in unemployment) and then scoffed at the idea of paying child support. At what point do we look at this person and say you don't get to play in this arena anymore. I don't have a problem letting her have a little time here and there but why should SO and I have to live in fear that every little thing we do will risk him losing custody to this beast while she continues to act with impunity.

As a lawyer, I have to say this, the system totally sucks.

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lawyergirl06's picture

We offered the phone calls because the prior court order said they had to call everyday from our home and no supervision. We want the calls supervised because she had answered the phone numerous times drunk and said inappropriate things. We are a two party consent state to recorded calls and she wouldn't agree so of course it was SO's word against hers (which by the by the judge believed him....doesn't hurt that he likes me...) but we didn't want the judge to order us to follow the previous order now that she is in treatment. I don't mind the calls, its just transporting them to the crisis center, then getting them home, fed and in bed at a decent hour and yet another disruption to trying to get the schedule down for these little monsters...;)

What gets me is that she gets to continue to act however she wants. If she was in the juvenile system, the caseworker would be refusing to allow her to have any visits right now given her stability or lack thereof. The girl is threatening "house members" at treatment on her FB page for fuck's sake. She's a total crazy person. I just wish that someone would say, you know what, knock this shit off or you will face the consequences.

It's infuriating and it's frustrating.