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I have to thank BM

laughterandtears's picture

I owe many thanks to the BM in my family. She was awful enough to make me seek a place to turn to and so I happened this site. I have many wonderful friends from here that have carried over into my everyday life. I love those friends and would do anything to help them. So, BM, I thank you for that. She was stupid enough to act like an immature child while her and SDA were married, which caused a divorce, so now he is mine. Thank you, BM, for being an idiot. I must also thank her for being a worthless mother. She has given her kids to me, is allowing me to adopt them and call them my own. Thank you, BM, for having no love for your children. The last thing I need to thank BM for is for treating her kids the way she did, because they needed me more than they would ever need her, so thank you, BM, for treating your kids like yesterday's trash.

If BM were different, if she had an ounce of love for anyone but herself, I may not be raising two wonderful boys, who love me with the love of a child to a wonderful mother. I love those kids, even if she did screw them up, but you know what, if BM were not who she is, things would be vastly different!

Comments

Mary Lou's picture

I'm a stepmom, too, and I urge you to let go of the obvious bitterness and rage you feel toward your stepchildren's mother. This kind of thing isn't healthy and serves no one, no matter to whom it's directed.

Let. It. Go. You have control only over your own actions. Focus on that instead of the actions of others. These negative feelings you harbor inside yourself impact everything and everyone around you. Do what it takes to get rid of them and your entire family will be better for it.

Good luck.

laughterandtears's picture

I believe you feel a bit guilty. I harbor no hateful feelings towards her. Nor do I pity her. As a matter of fact, I have no feelings towards her whatsoever. I would suggest that you read back a few blogs and you would realize that in fact, these "stepchildren" are a signature away from being my "adopted children". How could I hate a woman for giving me such a precious gift? Smile

~IT WAS WORTH IT WHEN I BEGAN~

Most Evil's picture

I know what you are saying, but it struck me so funny how you say it! thanks for the smile, I needed that! I thank her for you too Smile

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus

laughterandtears's picture

I felt the need to express my DEEP gratitude! Wink

~IT WAS WORTH IT WHEN I BEGAN~

Sebbie's picture

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

It is nice to see the plus side to their immaturity, vindictiveness, anger, laziness, deceitfulness....and the list can go on. The point being, you are sooooooo right. Without all they have done, we might never have had the opportunity to love and be loved by our husbands,nor have the opportunity to show our stepchildren that though they may never return it, we can and do still love them.

ColorMeGone2's picture

Thanks to her pushing me to the edge of complete and total despair, I have people in my life now that I feel closer to than I ever have to my friends that live outside my PC. When the people around me don't get it, it's nice to have a back-up army of friends who do get it, because they are also living it. Because of BM, I have these gorgeous, quirky, silly, pain-in-the-ass, selfish, affectionate, inconsiderate, well-meaning stepchildren who are, at the same time, thorns in my side and a source of love and pride. Because of BM, I have DH, which is sometimes a bad thing, but always a good thing and nothing I would ever change.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)