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Honest answers please....

Lady Danger's picture

Hey all you step mothers. I need some real life advice. Hypothetically: if you and husband/significant other/spouse broke up... Would you consider dating someone with kids again? Knowing what you know now, and having experienced what you've been through, would you think it's worth it again?

Comments

Just J's picture

I don't think I would. My situation isn't as hellish as a lot of the folks here, but I'd rather not deal with a bitter ex wife again, and it wouldn't want to take any chances on ending up with horrible step kids on the next go round. Mine are ok, we get along and they're fine people, but they sure were a drain on our finances when they were minors and I have a soon to be 24 year old SS that will probably live with us until he's 30.

But the thing is, I have 2 kids, so it would be hard to justify, even in my own head, that the guy couldn't have baggage when obviously I would. And I'm at an age where the men in my dating age range (40s) are more than likely going to have been previously married and/or have kids. The ones that don't by this age are usually weirdos with issues.

grow-a-nut's picture

Nope. Never. I have been on my own now since December 14 2012. I have refused to date any man with kids.

3 months ago I met and started dating a wonderful man with NO KIDS! I will never marry again.

Disneyfan's picture

Yup and I would start that relationship the same way I started this one.

I would make it clear that I'm interested in playing mommy to his kids~ it's hisbkids to parent not mine. If his kids or ex cross a line with me, I will address it right then and there.

vickimill26's picture

Hard for me to say, I was in an 8 year relationship with someone who's son and ex wife were like a dream! She was nice and thankful that I took care of her son when he was with us.
Total opposite now. I have been with my fiance for 4 years, involved with the kids and ex wife for 3. She is an utter nightmare. Telling lies about me to the kids and anyone else that would listen. The kids are wonderful and my fiance always asks me if him and the kids are worth putting up with the BM. I say yes. I just don't know if I would ever put myself in that situation again. Too much drama and craziness

deeplydevoted's picture

I think it depends on the situation. I've read plenty of posts on here about horrible ex's and BM drama. If that were the case all of the time, I'd say HELL NO! I don't have kids of my own, and probably never will. Having stepkids is probably the closest I will ever be to being a mother. I know other people that are with someone and friends with their significant other's ex. I think it really depends on the mentality of all involved. I dislike drama and confrontation. If there wasn't a lot of that in our relationship, I would date someone with kids again.

simifan's picture

Yes, considering I'm over 40 but not if i was younger. I would definitely prefer BM being dead. I would also start out being completely disengaged & make clear I was not Mommy.