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pregnant

ktf1988's picture

just realized I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Dh is less than excited. Its so sad to me because I feel like im alone and even at fault here... He's so worried about money...which believe me I feel the stress! But it's like he wants to take out the frustration on me. Actually this time he is 75% better. We actually went through this in Novemeber 2010, ended in a heart breaking miscarriage. Again an unexpected pregnancy...and DH was livid, not necessarily at me, but I was the only one to take the brunt of his reaction. He's been struggling with Lyme Disease for 2 years so it's been a rough time for us. But the thing that gets me in the end is that he says he feels bad for his daughters, who only live with us 50% of the time, where as my daughter is with us 100%. He thinks his girls will feel like we have pushed them out of the family by welcoming a new baby.....?????? I think this is crazy. I think that is exactly what BM will try to make them believe. I tell him we have to present this as a wonderful thing that will bring us together even more (at least im hoping and praying it does). Ive tried to reassure him that as loving parents I think we're pretty capable to love more than 1 or 2, 3 ,4 ,5 children. He has this serious guilt complex about his divorce and BM has grinded it in to him that he is never doing enough for his kids. (just cuz she can buy them the world & we cant, doesnt mean we are not providing what they actually NEED vs. WANT) I hate this so much! Anyway, I'm prego, and kinda freakin out.

Comments

briarmommy's picture

Congrats on the baby Smile I know it will be hard and you will feel alone sometimes because of your spouse's other responsibilitys but try to enjoy this time. I let my husbands doubt and worry ruin my joy of my pregnancy and I regret it every day, I have this beautiful wonderful daughter now and my spouse loves her to pieces now to. His doubt will go away once he holds that baby and falls in love with it, so ignore him for now and focus on the joy of this baby growing in you and preparing for this life your bringing, otherwise you will regret it every day after. I missed out on all that joy please try to not do that to yourself. Try to get the skids involved make them exited and included and that will ease some of his worry as well. But no matter what you have a life in you and that baby will feel your anxious and stressed and not be able to be as calm as it could be to. So try to include everyone but if they let you down, focus on just you and the life and enjoy.

oneoffour's picture

Congrats on the baby.

I don't get it. Whjy would someone have sex and not expect children? I mean if you lied about contraception he may have a point. But really? You have sex and you get pregnant and he gets all pissy about his first children? Well then stupid, don't get involved with ANY woman who is fertile.

And if he says 'We don't do enough for the kids." Well you ar providing them with a baby brother or sister. Maybe BM would like to keep up with THAT!