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FRUSTRATED!!!!

krk10's picture

Submitted by krk10 on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 3:16pm

So my stepson gets to run the house when he is with his "mother". He tells her what to do and she gives him exactly what he wants, he does what he wants, he talks back, he acts like he is the adult. Sad to say that is the case i have seen first hand how disrespectful he is to her and she thinks its cute so she does whatever he wants whenever he wants her to do it. The kid just turned 3 years old, i can only imagine what he is going to act like when he is older. I really hate to say it but he is going to be in some major trouble when he is old enough to over power her completely and just leave for school. I pray he doesnt get that bad but the way she is and the people she chooses to surround herself with thats exactly where he is headed.
THis seperation and instablility is hard on the little kids and its usually the parent who doesnt give a F*** that gets primary custody. We have a stable household, better schools, he as a little brother here. I am a stay at home mom who is never without my children. He has a father here to show him how to be a man and a stepmom to help him with his school when he starts going, and he just has a better life here.
People go in and out of her house, no one guy stays with her for longer than a month. Which is long enough for a 3yr old to get used to the guy and then just to have him dissapear. who would want that for their child. UGH it frustrates me because he will throw 3-4 hour fits here at out house when he doesnt get his way. and what the heck am i suppose to do with that?? i just cant take it sometimes. Its so hard and i wish i knew what to do

Comments

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 3:33pm

It's called "adult spousal status" and it happens mostly when a BM gives her son the "man of the house" role, no matter HOW young her son is.

She will also treat him like an adult confidant and psychologically equate him with a "DH do-over" A lot like the way these guilty daddies treat their beloved princesses.

Your DH needs to let SS know that you do things DIFFERENTLY at your house and that he's not the "Man of the House" (TM) when at your house. Not much you can do about what he does at the BM's house. Other than DH telling BM that she's doing SS a disservice.

Of course most psycho BMs don't grasp this concept as they are all about themselves.

And your DH should be the one to enact these rules, not you.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Tue, 05/03/2011 - 7:06pm

Ha! I could have written this entry. FDH put his foot down about a year ago, and things have gotten much better here for the most part. SS5 still bosses everyone around when he first gets back from his mom's, but it is NOTHING like it was before. And the way he treats his mother is totally nuts. There is no way she is going to be able to keep him past the age of 8 if it continues this way.

Get your H to figure out this isn't good for him and start enforcing rules at your house PRONTO. It will make life much easier, and I think it will make the future a bit easier when she dumps him on your doorstep because she's trained him to treat her like crap.