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Grrr the cycle continues

Kmommyof388's picture

Seconds away from hiding all the damn xbox remotes in this damn house!! I was promised all day long that he would help me clean out the fridge and help me sanitize it..welp I'm NOT doing it myself iam tired and mommy needs to go to sleep before the babies want to be up again at four in the morning wanting to play! 

Does anyone else have to keep reminding and nudging and pestering just to get a TINY bit of cooperation from their dh

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Kmommyof388's picture

Or better yet just tell me straight up you don't want to do it..my god iam not even angry he doesn't want to iam angry because he so sure he was going to set time aside to help me all I ask was help throw away what we don' want and need and then help me take the shelves out...last time I did it myself all the shelves fell I didn' put them in right (it' an older fridge one with the heavy glass shelves)

Cover1W's picture

I have conversations with my DH about this - he cannot tell me he'll help or do something then not do it.  I'm counting on him to be an adult and take out the trash, or mow the lawn because I just re-did the second bathroom or went grocery shopping or cooked dinner all week. He is now getting it. 

It takes consistency on your part too.  Don't get mad.  I would tell him I'm going to be cleaning out the fridge in X number of days and you said you'd help, then repeat until the day of.  If he doesn't help, then you don't do something you would ususally do, like cook dinner.  He gets to play while you do the housework, then you don't do all the housework and take time for yourself.  If he doesn't like cleaning the fridge, what else can he help with?  DH really hates grocery shopping - so he is in charge of trash and recycle take out.  He isn't good at cleaning the house so he's in charge of basic yard maintenance.  And if he doesn't help?  I hire out for the work.

I think you have to also come to terms with what you will/won't accept and how to handle discussing it with your DH.  Like disengaging from the skids - what matters to you?  What doesn't?  What can you let go of and what do you need help with?

Kmommyof388's picture

Yeah I suppose I should try to pick my battles..like I said I'm not really mad he didn' help I think I'm more upset that he said he would and he didn't