I have been with my Fiancee for 3 years. We are getting married in 11 months (if we make it). I have never been married and I have no kids. He has 2 kids and an ex wife who is a crazy b*%$h. The hoops that she made us jump through because of all the accusation that she made in court. I don't do drugs, we do occasionally have a couple of drinks and I am mentally sound. I was not allowed to be around their children for the first 9 months of our relationship. Because of the accusations she made in the courts. But her boyfriend who lived with her was allowed. We had to go to a social worker and be drug and drinking tested, the social worker was the one who said I am perfectly sound. The mother of the SD was said to have MMS. Anyway there was constant brain washing going on from mother to daughter. If your nice to your SM the courts will take you away from me and you will have to live with them. She would make up terrible lies to my SD about stuff that she said, I said. Anyway this pattern of lies and malicious behavior has now infected my SD. I have been having nothing but problems with my future Step Daughter age 12 going on 40. She is manipulating, loves to be the center of attention, she thinks the only way to love someone is to fight with them. She has to make every situation a bad one. She has a chip on her shoulder and plays everyone against me. Example: I was going to my Fiance's Sisters wedding. His sister asked me to do my SD's hair, she was in the wedding party. I told my SD to blow dry her hair the night before and I would curl it in the morning when we picked her and her brother up. She didn't wash her hair and we had an hour and a half before we had to meet everyone one at the hotel for pictures. I finally convinced my SD to take a shower. I told her to blow dry her hair so we can curl it, she said no! She didn't want to do her hair, she would do it when she got to the hotel. This conversation went on for 45mins. After the wedding my fiance's sister came up to me and told me that she was mad at me and said thanks a lot for doing your SD's hair! My SD lied to his whole family and said I was mean and wouldn't do her hair. So needless to say the family was mad at me, thinking I ruined all or her pictures. I explained to my SD that I thought she owed everyone an appology. She just put up her hand and blocked me out. And followed with the comment I am nothing but mean.
On another occasion She called her mother from my house and told her that I am verbally abusing her. Couldn't be further from the truth. I have put myself out there to be walked on to many times and can't keep doing it. It has gotten to the point that I am fighting w my fiancee every week to the point that it is a full blown out screaming match. Or I end up leaving our house crying. I feel that he takes her side and his little princess can't do any wrong. I love him very much I don't know how to handle this situation. I can't see things getting better w SD therefore I can't see the fighting stopping over the situation. He works on Saturday and I stay with his kids, I have authority while I am watching them and when he comes home I feel as if I know longer have say. If I do say anything he asks is it really a big deal, your just knit picking. I feel like I am the third wheel in my own house. I feel like it is him and his kids against me. I feel like I don't have a voice in my own house. I have brought this to his attention on many occasions he said It wouldn't happen again or I'll talk to her (SD) and nothing gets resolved. It has gotten to the point that I don't even want his fresh mouth daughter in our house. She has a comment to say about everything. She even talks back to the TV. I am to the point that I am very angry and resentful over the situation. We have all sat down as a family to clear the air and nothing gets resolved. I have purchased books on how to deal with this situation. I am questioning do I really want to deal with this for the rest of my life? And then I see him smile! but every week I still have to ask the same questin and I still say I don't know? This situation is bigger then me.... and greater then my heart can handle.....